“Alternative” Lyrics 331

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Gaston (Reprise)” by Jesse Corti, Richard White and Chorus from Beauty and the Beast

Help! Someone help me!
Maurice?
Please! Please! I need your help!
He’s got her, he’s got her locked in the dungeon

Who?
Belle! We must go! Not a minute to lose!
Whoa! Slow down Maurice! Who’s got Belle locked in a dungeon?
A Beast! A horrible, monstrous Beast!

Is it a big Beast?

Huge!
With a long, ugly snout?
Hideously ugly!
And sharp, cruel fangs?
Yes, yes! Will you help me?
All right, old man We’ll help you out
You will? Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
[Maurice is expelled]
Crazy old Maurice!
He’s always good for a laugh
Crazy old Maurice Hmm crazy old Maurice Hmm

Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking

A dangerous pastime,

I know
But that wacky old coot is Belle’s father,
And his sanity’s only “so-so”
Now the wheels in my head have been turning,
Since I looked at that loony old man
See, I promised myself I’d be married to Belle,
And right now I’m evolving a plan!

If I
Yes!
Then we’d
No! Would she?
Guess!
Now I get it!

Let’s go!
No one plots like Gaston,
Takes cheap shots like Gaston,
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

So his marriage we soon will be celebrating!
My, what a guy!
Gaston!

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