“Alternative” Lyrics 184

Topic: Resistance
“Get Along” by Kenny Chesney

Met a man wearin’ a t-shirt, says “Virginia is for lovers”
Had a Bible in his left hand and a bottle in the other
He says “All you’re really given is the sunshine and your name”
We both started laughin’ when the sky started to rain

Get along, on down the road
We’ve got a long long way to go
Scared to live, scared to die
We ain’t perfect but we try

Get along while we can
Always give love the upper hand
Paint a wall, learn to dance
Call your mom, buy a boat
Drink a beer, sing a song
Make a friend, can’t we all get along

Saw a model on a billboard, 1-800 get to know me
Wondered was she photoshopped, or were her eyes really that lonely?
Did she leave her hometown thinkin’ she’d end up in L.A.?
Did she break down in the desert and get stuck beside the highway?

Get along, on down the road
We’ve got a long long way to go
Scared to live, scared to die
We ain’t perfect but we try

Get along while we can
Always give love the upper hand
Paint a wall, learn to dance
Call your mom, buy a boat
Drink a beer, sing a song
Make a friend, can’t we all get along

We find out when you die the keys to heaven can’t be bought
We still don’t know what love is but we sure know what it’s not
Sometimes you got to

Get along, on down the road
We’ve got a long long way to go
Scared to live, scared to die
We ain’t perfect but we try

Get along while we can
Always give love the upper hand
Paint a wall, learn to dance
Call your mom, buy a boat
Drink a beer, sing a song
Make a friend, can’t we all get along

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“Alternative” Lyrics 183

Topic: Russia; Vladimir Putin; Kellyanne Conway; Erik Trump; Donald Trump Jr.; Devin Nunez; Jeff Sessions; Sarah Huckabee Sanders; Donald J. Trump
“Winnie the Pooh” by Disney Orchestra

Deep in the hundred acre wood
Where Christopher Robin plays
You will find the enchanted neighborhood
Of Christopher’s childhood days
A donkey named Eeyore is his friend
And Kanga and little Roo
There’s Rabbit and Piglet
And there’s Owl
But most of all Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
He’s Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Willy nilly silly old bear

Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
He’s Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Willy nilly silly old bear

“Alternative” Lyrics 182

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Economy
“Every Light in the House is Blown” by Cledus T. Judd

I told you I’d leave some flairs on
In case you ever wanted to find my home
You frowned and said well the dang Law should arrest ya

Now this old house keeps falling apart
So I went down to the local Wal-mart
And bought this coleman lantern to impress ya

Chorus
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
I keep on a-clapping
But they don’t clap on
House looks like where the Armish live
There’s really no point to pay the power bill
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
The numbers won’t even light up on my telephone
‘Coz every light in the house is blowd

It got awful dang depressing
The bulbs all blew out one by one
And I just can’t afford right now to replace them

Until then I’ll sit here in the dark
‘Coz I can’t get this old generator to start
I got four batteries but I don’t wanna waste ’em

Chorus
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
I’d love to sell the place but it can’t be shown
Looks like where the Clampet’s lived
Before they packed up and moved to Beverly Hills
Every light in the house is blown
No more reading ‘Country Weekly’
While I’m on the Throne
‘Coz every light in the house blown
Can’ see a thing ’til the crack of dawn
House looks like where Ben Franklin’s born
Before he flew a kite in an electrical storm
A-every light in the house is blown
I was hopin’ maybe Trace would float me along
‘Coz every light in the house is blown

“Alternative” Lyrics 181

Topic: Woodrow Wilson; Jimmy Carter; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Barack Obama
Auxiliary Topic: Environment; Mass Shootings; Porn Stars; Resistance
“Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin’ on a midnight bus bound for Mexico
One’s headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An’ two of them were searchin’ for lost souls

That driver never ever saw the stop sign
An’ eighteen wheelers can’t stop on a dime

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an’ love for growin’ things in his young son’s heart
An’ that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give ’em all a better start
An’ that preacher whispered, “Can’t you see the Promised Land?”
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker’s hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That’s the story that our preacher told last Sunday
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see
He said “Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an’ the preacher
Who gave this Bible to my mama,
Who read it to me”

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, now I guess we know
It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

“Alternative” Lyrics 180

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Sports Go Sports” by Garfunkel & Oates

Sports go sports!

I promise I really totally care who wins
If there’s a net or hoop or hole in the ground, I hope they get it in
If they want to go to all the bases, I hope they do
If they’re supposed to run past a line or whatever, I hope they do that, too

Sports go sports!

May they top their opponents numerically in the allotted time
Lest they disenfranchise their audience
And see their revenues decline

May the partakers be sturdy and rapid
In the spirited energies they exert
May they be victorious in perpetuity
Don’t I look cute in this football shirt?

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

This is the most important thing that’s ever occurred
The vicarious fulfillment of your dream that got deferred
You had aspirations as a kid, but you didn’t have the skill
So you watch genetically superior people do the things you never will

Sports go sports!

May the competitors you prefer
Best their opposing equivalents
So you can somehow feel connected to the feat
Of your self-appointed constituents
May the hours you spend watching post-match pontificators
Amplify the thrill of being a witness
And better your predictive aptitude
For your squad’s future physical fitness

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

Watching able-bodied millionaires play with each other
Watching less agile millionaire talk about it on TV
May they compile copious points
So they are rewarded and meritorious
So you feel temporarily, adjacently victorious

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

Every other word!

Sports!
Sports!
Are, one!
Are!
Go! Yeah!

Every other, other word!

Go!
Athletics, number!
Participants, heroes!
Team!

Now in Latin!

Ludis ire ludis
Arcu sunt optimum
Participants sunt heroes
Ire quadrigus sic

Now the truth!

If you could only throw a ball
You’d have a hotter wife
Lots and lots of money
And a way better life
And a way better life
Go sports!

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