“Alternative” Lyrics 331

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Gaston (Reprise)” by Jesse Corti, Richard White and Chorus from Beauty and the Beast

Help! Someone help me!
Maurice?
Please! Please! I need your help!
He’s got her, he’s got her locked in the dungeon

Who?
Belle! We must go! Not a minute to lose!
Whoa! Slow down Maurice! Who’s got Belle locked in a dungeon?
A Beast! A horrible, monstrous Beast!

Is it a big Beast?

Huge!
With a long, ugly snout?
Hideously ugly!
And sharp, cruel fangs?
Yes, yes! Will you help me?
All right, old man We’ll help you out
You will? Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
[Maurice is expelled]
Crazy old Maurice!
He’s always good for a laugh
Crazy old Maurice Hmm crazy old Maurice Hmm

Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking

A dangerous pastime,

I know
But that wacky old coot is Belle’s father,
And his sanity’s only “so-so”
Now the wheels in my head have been turning,
Since I looked at that loony old man
See, I promised myself I’d be married to Belle,
And right now I’m evolving a plan!

If I
Yes!
Then we’d
No! Would she?
Guess!
Now I get it!

Let’s go!
No one plots like Gaston,
Takes cheap shots like Gaston,
Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston

So his marriage we soon will be celebrating!
My, what a guy!
Gaston!

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“Alternative” Lyrics 330

Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Gaston” by Jesse Corti, Richard White and Chorus from Beauty and the Beast

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps

There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite guy
Everyone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston’s
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

Who play cards like Gaston?
Who break hearts like Gaston?
Who’s much more than the sum of his parts like Gaston?
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My, what a guy, that Gaston!

I needed encouragement
Thank you LeFou
Well, there’s no one as easy to bolster as you
Too much?
Yep

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston
When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver
And beasts of the field say a prayer
First I carefully aimed for the liver
And I shot from behind
Is that fair?
I don’t care

No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I’m especially good at expectorating
Ten points for Gaston

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge

Who has brains like Gaston
Entertains like Gaston!
Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again
Who’s the man among men?
Who’s the super success?
Don’t you know? can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town, who’s got all of it down

And his name’s G-A-S-T
I believe there’s another T
It just occurred to me that I’m illiterate
And I’ve never actually have to spell it out loud before
Gaston

“Alternative” Lyrics 329

Topic: Donald J. Trump’s Base, Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump
“Do You Want to Build a Snowman” by Kristen Bell, Agatha Lee Monn & Katie Lopez
from Frozen

[Toddler Anna + Young Elsa]
Elsa?
Do you wanna build a snowman?
Come on, let’s go and play!
I never see you anymore, come out the door
It’s like you’ve gone away
We used to be best buddies, and now we’re not
I wish you would tell me why
Do you wanna build a snowman?
It doesn’t have to be a snowman
(Go away, Anna!)
Okay, bye

[Young Anna]
Do you wanna build a snowman
Or ride our bikes around the halls?
I think some company is overdue, I’ve started talking to
The pictures on the walls
Hang in there, Joan
It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms
Just watching the hours tick by
(tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock)

[Instrumental Interlude]

[Adult Anna]
Elsa?
Please, I know you’re in there
People are asking where you’ve been
They say “have courage” and I’m trying to
I’m right out here for you
Just let me in
We only have each other, it’s just you and me
What are we gonna do?
Do you wanna build a snowman?

“Alternative” Lyrics 328

Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Basketball Jones” by Cheech & Chong

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo
Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin’
In fac’, I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me
I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemen’s
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me at the free-throw line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out
{cheerleaders sing repeatedly…}
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones)
(I got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)
{while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks…}
Oh, that sounds so sweet
Sing it out
see’mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, honky
Yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
Oh yeah, sing it out like you’re proud
All right, everybody watchin’ coast-to-coast, sing along with us
Bill Russell, sing along with us
Chick Hearn, sing along with us
Chris Schenkel, don’t sing nothin’
Oh, it feels so good
Gimme the ball
I’ll go one-on-one against the world, left-handed
I could stuff it from center court with my toes
I could jump on top of the backboard, take off a quarter, leave fifteen cents change I
could, I could dribble behind my back I got more moves than Ex-Lax I’m bad I could
dribble with my tongue Here I go down court, try to stop me You can’t stop me ’cause I
got a Basketball Jones Here I come That’s my hook shot with my eyebrow Yeah, I could
dunk it with my nose I’m, I’m bad as King Kong, gimme the ball I’m hot, I’m hot as…,
I’m hot as…, I’m hot as… uh Uh, uh, uh, uh
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
{fade}

https://youtu.be/DlhWPVJNAOo

“Alternative” Lyrics 327

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin; Russia
“Frankie” by Connie Francis

(spoken): Frankie, where ever you are, I love you

Though you’ve found a new love
I still miss you so
I just can’t forget you
But you’ll never know
Frankie, my darling
I’ll never let you see me cry

Once I was your sweetheart
Now I’m just a friend
Once you really loved me
Now I just pretend
Frankie, my darling
I’ll never let you see me cry

Oh, Frankie
I’d rather hide these teardrops deep down inside
I’m crying
But you’ll never see I’d rather cry than have you pity me

Though my nights are lonely
Since you went away
I’ll always keep this secret
Deep within my heart
Frankie, my darling
I’ll never let you see me cry

(spoken): Frankie, where ever you are, I love you

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