“Alternative” Lyrics 151

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
“Leader of the Pack” by the Shangri-Las

-Is she really going out with him?
-Well, there she is. Let’s ask her
-Betty, is that Jimmy’s ring you’re wearing?
-M-hm
-Gee, it must be great riding with him. Is he picking you up after school today?
-M-m
-By the way, where’d you meet him?

[Verse 1]
I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture?
-Yes, we see
That’s when I fell for the Leader of the Pack

My folks were always putting him down
-Down, down
They said he came from the wrong side of town
-What you mean when you say that he came from the wrong side of town?
They told me he was bad
But I knew he was sad
That’s why I fell for the Leader of the Pack

One day my Dad said, “Find someone new”
I had to tell my Jimmy, We’re through
-What you mean when you say that you better go find somebody new?
He stood there and asked me why
But all I could do was cry
I’m sorry I hurt you, Leader of the Pack

He sort of smiled and kissed me goodbye
The tears were beginning to show
As he drove away on that rainy night
I begged him to go slow
Whether he heard
I’ll never know

No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Look out, look out, look out, look out

I felt so helpless, what could I do?
Remembering all the things we’d been through
In school they all stop and stare
I can’t hide the tears, but I don’t care
I’ll never forget him, the Leader of the Pack

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“Alternative” Lyrics 150

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Politicians; Donald J. Trump’s Base
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars
“Lie” by Tracy Lawrence

I heard you saw her last night
At that dive down in Jamestown
I haven’t seen her since the 4th of July
Did you get a chance to talk, did she mention me at all?

Was she there alone or with some other guy?

Well, I’m dying to know
But I’m scared of the truth
So before you say a word
Consider what this heart’s been through

And lie, don’t tell me that she looks amazing
Just lie, if she’s with someone else I just can’t take it
Tell me she looks sad and lonely
Tell me she’s been missing me like crazy
Yeah, just look me in the eye and lie

Was she over by the jukebox?
Playing songs we used to dance to?
Staring at the door, sipping makers on the rocks
Did she ask you where I’ve been?
Was she hoping I’d walk in?
Just take her by the hand
And pick up right where we left off

Well, I know she’s moving on and it’s killing me to see
And the words you want to say are strong enough to be the death of me

So lie, don’t tell me that she looks amazing
Just lie, if she’s with someone else I just can’t take it
Tell me she looks sad and lonely
Tell me she’s been missing me like crazy
Yeah, just look me in the eye and lie

‘Cause I can’t throw away the dreams we’ve shared
I’ve tried reaching out, but she don’t care
It’s pretty clear that I ain’t ready to let go

So lie, don’t tell me that she looked amazing
Just lie, if she’s with someone else
Then lie, don’t tell me that she looks amazing
Just Lie, if she’s with someone else, I just can’t take it
Tell me she looks sad and lonely
Tell me she’s been missing me like crazy
Yeah, just look me in the eye, then lie
Then lie

“Alternative” Lyrics 149

Topic: Resistance
“Going to War” by John DiMaggio, Coolio, Mark Hamill, Billy West, and Katey Sagal from Futurama: Bender’s Big Score

Robot Santa: I brought the elves back from vacation,
chained them up and called my holiday friends.
Kwanzaabot: Kwanzaabot.
Chanuka Zombie: And the Chanuka Zombie.
Robot Santa: Three mad wise men
bearing murder and frankincense.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Damn you, doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Shutup.
Now fetch those bunnies by the armful.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Says who? doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Says me.
Napalm makes them slightly more harmful.
No one here goes near that door,
this toyshop’s goin’ to war.
Chanuka Zombie: Talmud says be slow to anger,
low-down scammers got me seeing red.
Got my TIE Fighter out of the hangar.
Jump back Jack,
’cause I’m Jewish and I’m undead.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Ten-hut, doo doo doo doo.
Chanuka Zombie: [simultaneous] Dreidel, dreidel,
I made it out of blasting clay.
Robot Santa’s Elves: You’re nuts, doo doo doo doo.
Chanuka Zombie: [simultaneous] And when it’s dry and ready,
for mercy they will pray,
I can’t wait eight nights or more.
This zombie’s goin’ to war.
[Robot Santa begins beat-boxing]
Kwanzaabot: Ch, Check it out,
Kwanzaabot in the neptizzle hizzle,
with my inhuman beat-box,
busy building missiles.
They’re guided by these cute dancing fairy figures.
Careful little elf, that’s proximity-triggered.
I’m fighting back for Kwanzaa so the children won’t miss it.
I’m confused about its meaning,
but I know it when they diss it.
So Santa?
Santa: Yeah, Kay?
Kwanzaabot: Cee Zee?
Chanuka Zombie: Hey, hey.
Kwanzaabot: Let’s slay them pimps.
Come on, pimp my sleigh.
Chanuka Zombie: Easy with that toy artillery,
Torgo’s Powder’s deadly but unstable.
Robot Santa: [spoken] Can they sue for liability?
Nixon: [spoken] Certainly not!
Robot Santa: Use as much as you are able.
Robot Santa’s Elves: This bites, doo doo doo doo
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] You signed away your rights when you were hired.
Nixon & Leela: Now, let’s fight.
Robot Santa’s Elves: …doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Okay, chestnuts roasting I’m gonna open fire.
Prepare for gore galore.
Santa, Kwanzaabot & Chanuka Zombie: This trinity’s goin’ to war

“Alternative” Lyrics 148

Topic: Resistance
“Hands” by Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these

I will not be made useless
I won’t be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken

Poverty stole your golden shoes
But it didn’t steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But i knew it wasn’t ever after

We will fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what’s right
Cause where there’s a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

My hands are small, I know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken

My hands are small, i know,
But they’re not yours they are my own
But they’re not yours they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken

We are God’s eyes God’s hands God’s mind
We are God’s eyes God’s hands God’s heart
We are God’s eyes God’s hands God’s eyes God’s hands
We are God’s hands God’s hands We are God’s hands

“Alternative” Lyrics 147

Topic: Vladimir Putin; Cambridge Analytica; Facebook; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team
“Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett & the Crypt Kickers

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin’, all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, “The Crypt-Kicker Five”

They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, “Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?”

It’s now the mash
It’s now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it’s a graveyard smash
It’s now the mash
It’s caught on in a flash
It’s now the mash
It’s now the monster mash

Now everything’s cool, Drac’s a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You’ll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash

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