“Alternative” Lyrics 281

Topic: Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud; Saudi Arabia; Donald J. Trump
“Saudi Arabia is the Worst Place in the World” by Wendy Schaal feat. Seth MacFarlane from American Dad

Francine: Greatest country in the world?

♪♪ We packed our bags, we hopped a plane ♪♪

♪♪ We left our happy home ♪♪

Stan: Uhh, Francine, singing’s kind of illegal here…

Francine: ♪♪ The culture seemed a bit insane but you said, hey, when in Rome… ♪♪

Stan: Uh, Seriously Francine, ixnay on the inging-say

Francine: ♪♪ Maybe you got no reason to complain, but I’ve got no Y chromosome… ♪♪

So here’s what I don’t like about Saudi Arabia…

♪♪ You can’t go out unless you are escorted by a man, ♪♪

♪♪ And when you do, you come home with a butt crack full of sand. ♪♪

♪♪ No alcohol, no rum and cokes and no Dom Perignon, ♪♪

♪♪ At least a girl can have a smoke. ♪♪

Man: But not on Ramadan!

Francine: ♪♪ Oh, it’s a land of joy, if you are a boy, ♪♪

♪♪ But if you are a girl, it’s the worst place in the world. ♪♪

Stan: Okay Francine we get it.

Francine: Oh, but I’m just getting started.

♪♪ American girls we do pilates, starve ourselves until we’re hotties, ♪♪

♪♪ Why? Because we like our bodies, check me out you uptight Saudis! ♪♪

♪♪ Oh it’s so awfully grand. ♪♪

Stan: ♪♪ Come on Francine stop singing. ♪♪

Francine: ♪♪ If you are a man. ♪♪

Stan: ♪♪ I’m only back up singing. ♪♪

Francine: ♪♪ If you don’t take me home soon Stan, I think I’m gonna hurl. ♪♪

♪♪ It’s the worst place in the world. ♪♪

Stan: I started this point system and she’s way behind.

Francine: ♪♪ I only want to see the world, explore and socialize, ♪♪

♪♪ But in this town I can’t so much as look at other guys, ♪♪

♪♪ ‘Cause if I did, they’d call me harlot, whore, adulteress, ♪♪

♪♪ I bet my last riyal you fellas won’t approve of this. ♪♪

♪♪ Who wants a kiss? ♪♪

♪♪ It’s great if you’re from Mars, but not if you’re from Venus, ♪♪

♪♪ If you wanna drive a car, you better have a penis. ♪♪

♪♪ So if you’ve got a vagina. ♪♪

Man: Ooh!

Francine: ♪♪A vulva. ♪♪

Man: Eee!

Francine: ♪♪ A clitoris. ♪♪

Man: What is a clitoris? *Stan shrugs shoulders*

Francine: ♪♪ And a labia… You see where I’m going with this. ♪♪

♪♪ Stay the hell away from Saudi Arabia! ♪♪

Man: WHORE!

https://youtu.be/HnR8Al5XRBU

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“Alternative” Lyrics 280

Topic: Michael Cohen; Michael Flynn; Paul Manafort; Donald Trump Jr.; Jared Kushner; Natalia Veselnitskaya; George Papadopoulos; Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin; Russia
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Salmon bin Abdulaziz Al Saud; Jamal Khashoggi
“Secrets” by OneRepublic

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess

Til’ all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It’s like we’re chasing all those stars
Who’s driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Send it straight to gold
I don’t really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that are like those years
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got no shame
Got no family I can’t blame
Just don’t let me disappear
I’mma tell you everything

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that’ll light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics never jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away

So tell me what you want to hear
Something that delight those ears
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away

 

“Alternative” Lyrics 262

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base; United States of America; Russia; Vladimir Putin; Saudi Arabia; Salmon bin Abdulaziz Al Saud
“Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass

There’s a port on a western bay
And it serves a hundred ships a day
Lonely sailors pass the time away
And talk about their homes

And there’s a girl in this harbor town
And she works layin’ whiskey down
They say, Brandy, fetch another round
She serves them whiskey and wine

The sailors say: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“Yeah, your eyes could steal a sailor from the sea”

Brandy wears a braided chain
Made of finest silver from the North of Spain
A locket that bears the name
Of the man that Brandy loved

He came on a summer’s day
Bringin’ gifts from far away
But he made it clear he couldn’t stay
No harbor was his home

The sailors say: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”

Yeah, Brandy used to watch his eyes
When he told his sailor stories
She could feel the ocean fall and rise
She saw its ragin’ glory
But he had always told the truth, Lord, he was an honest man
And Brandy does her best to understand

At night when the bars close down
Brandy walks through a silent town
And loves a man who’s not around
She still can hear him say
She hears him say “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”
It is, yes it is,
He said, “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
“What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
“But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”

“Alternative” Lyrics 261

Topic: Mike Pompeo; Salmon bin Abdulaziz Al Saud; Donald J. Trump; Jamal Khashoggi
“Why, Wheatley, Why?” by BrainForce V

I’d awoken
From a coma
And I saw you hangin’ there

You had asked me
To try to speak to you
But I just jumped up in the air
Then we started shakin’
And I was so scared
But you led me safely from that room
And then you
Helped me disable
The deadly neurotoxin
That would have surely spelled my doom
So Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened
to you.

Well I remember
Those times we were together
When you weren’t totally insane.
Breakin’ windows
And solvin’ puzzles
My oh my, how things have changed!
So Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened
to you.

I never called you a moron
I never said you looked fat
I never claimed you were adopted
…or asked to buy me a hat
I only wanted to help you
‘Cause I thought that you’d help me
Then I found out you were as evil as evil can be…
Yeah!
(Guitar Solo)
You were my best friend
But you know it had to end
Because nothing gold can stay.
When you said that I’d die
I felt a tear drop in my eye
That’s when I started to say…

Wheatley,
Why’d you try to kill me?
After all that we’d been through!
Everything we’d done
Seemed like so much fun
But I just don’t know what happened to you.
Wheatley,
Why’d you make me kill you?
Shot you through a portal
To the moon!
You’re floatin’ ’round in space
And I just can’t replace
This Wheatley-sized hole
In my Heart.

“Alternative” Lyrics 260

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Ryan Zinke
Auxiliary Topic: Mike Pompeo; Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud; Donald J. Trump; Jamal Khashoggi
“Still Alive” by Ellen McLain

This was a triumph
I’m making a note here; “Huge success”

It’s hard to overstate
My satisfaction

Aperture Science:
We do what we must
Because we can

For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead

But there’s no sense crying
Over every mistake
You just keep on trying
Till you run out of cake
And the science gets done
And you make a neat gun
For the people who are
Still alive

I’m not even angry
I’m being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart,
And killed me

And tore me to pieces
And threw every piece into a fire
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you

Now, these points of data
Make a beautiful line
And we’re out of beta
We’re releasing on time
So I’m GLaD I got burned
Think of all the things we learned-
For the people who are
Still alive

Go ahead and leave me
I think I’d prefer to stay inside
Maybe you’ll find someone else
To help you?
Maybe Black Mesa?
That was a joke *Haha – Fat Chance*

Anyway this cake is great
It’s so delicious and moist

Look at me: still talking
When there’s science to do
When I look out there,
It makes me GLaD I’m not you

I’ve experiments to run
There is research to be done
On the people who are
Still alive
And believe me I am
Still alive
I’m doing science and I’m
Still alive
I feel fantastic and I’m
Still alive
While you’re dying I’ll be
Still alive
And when you’re dead I will be
Still alive

Still alive

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