“Alternative” Lyrics 137

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans; Porn Stars
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party
“The Loophole” Garfunkel and Oates

All my life I’ve been good
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
Go to church and Bible School
To live by God’s rule

So whatever people tell me
That The Bible tells me
I will do

Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I’ve got my morals in check
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he’s cute as heck

But I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight

Never learned about the birds and the bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
‘Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can’t wait that long

I don’t want to lose him
To someone who’ll do him
I need to figure something out

Well there’s a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It’s my Hail Mary, full of grace
In Jesus’ name we go to fifth base!

Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I’m not a godless whore
He’ll have to come in the back door
Therefore

Fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It’s just between you and me
‘Cause everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see

It’s hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maiden head

So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come

Oops! I mean let’s join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God

Whatever you do, don’t touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan’s doorbell, God can’t ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
‘Cause birth control’s for sluts and it’s a sin

I’ve emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I’m ready for romance

Now I’m praying to the Power that’s the Highest
But of all of my holes, this ones the driest
And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate
And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you’re straight

And I’m staying pure, no matter what
So I’m OK with everything but…
Everything but…
Everything butt

Fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of a rock hard rationalization
It’s just between you and me
‘Cause everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see

I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they’re unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest I live by for sure

So let’s not talk about how the Good Book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don’t count, of course
Let’s cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry
And mine it for ambiguities and omissions
To circumvent any real sacrifice
But still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions

And don’t you dare question my convictions
And don’t look closely at the contradictions
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction

As the only way to measure if you’re good or not
And in a debate, just say to “have faith”
Because when you’re up against logic, it’s the only card you’ve got

So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And…

Fuck me in the ass ’cause I love Jesus
The good Lord would want it that way
Gimme that sweet sensation of an irrational rationalization
It’s just between you and me
‘Cause everyone knows it’s the sex that God can’t see

Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
But sometimes you need to think outside the box

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“Alternative” Lyrics 126

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
Quaternary Topic: Donald J. Trump; James Comey; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
Quinary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Mass Shootings; Murder Victims
Senary Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Ai (Chuuseishin)” (English Translation: Love (Loyalty)) by Milk from Excel Saga

Original / Romaji Lyrics
Sore wa ai ja nai
Ai wa sore ja nai
Aishite iru kedo aisarete wa inai

Kesshite ai ja nai
Ketsu wa ai ja nai
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai

Kono mi sasagete inochi nagedashi
Wakime mo furazu tada hitasura ni
Damashite sukashite yokohairi
Tanin o fumitaoshi keri o kamashite

(Chorus)
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite! Tonzura koite!
Tonzura koite!

Banana no kawa de korondemo
Sore wa subete ano kata no tame
Shiite iu nara sore wa kitto
Ai to iu na no chuuseishin

Itsumo ai ja nai
Ai wa itsumo ja nai
Aisaresugi ja kono mi ga mochimashen

Ima ga chansu da okaidoku
Guramu ikura de kono mi mo douzo
Guumin wo aite ni hitosoudou
Shinbunzata ni naru mae ni

(Chorus)

Hito no michi sura hazuretemo
Sore wa tabun ano kata no tame
Mikaeri nado motomeya shinai
Ai yori fukai chuuseishin

Ochite yuku no mo oboreru no mo
Nani mo kamo ga ano kata no tame
Baka demo aho demo kamawanai
Ai to iu na no chuuseishin

An English Translation

This is not love
Love is not this
I love, but I am not loved

By no means is this love
Sex isn’t love
I love, but I do not seek love out

I lift up my body, throw down my life.
I won’t let my gaze waver to the sides, only be earnest
Tricking Searching Interfering
Trampling down other people!

(Chorus)
And we get the hell out! And we get the hell out!
And we get the hell out! And we get the hell out!
And we get the hell out! And we get the hell out!
And we get the hell out!

Even if we slip on banana peels,
This is all for his sake
I must say it, this is surely
A kind of loyalty you might call love

This is never love
Love is never this
This body of mine just can’t take any more love!
This body of mine just can’t take any more love!

Now’s my chance to decipher it! Please tell me how much a gram costs
There could be a revolution of the ignorant masses
But the newspapers would remain silent!

(Chorus)

People go their own ways
This is probably for his sake
I won’t ask for anything in return
My loyalty is deeper than love

I might fall down and die, and I might drown
But everything’s for his sake
I might be an idiot, I might be a fool, but I don’t care
This is a loyalty you might call love.

“Alternative” Lyrics 123

Topic: Resistance
Auxiliary Topic: Outraged Masses; Murder Victimes; Mass Shootings; Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party;
Tertiary Topic: Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers
“Roar” by Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (hey!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar!

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up (hey!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar!

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar!

Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar!

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar!

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar!

“Alternative” Lyrics 118

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Base
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin; Emmanuel Macron; Kim Jong Un; Xi Jinping
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Quarternary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
Quinary Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Something in Red” by Lorrie Morgan

I’m looking for something in red
Something that’s shocking to turn someone’s head
Strapless and sequined and cut down to there
Stockings and garters and lace underwear
The guaranteed number to knock the man dead
I’m looking for something in red

I’m looking for something in green
Something to outdo an ex-high school queen
Jealousy comes in the color of jade
Do you have some pumps and a purse in this shade
And a perfume that whispers please come back to me
I’m looking for something in green

I’m looking for something in white
Something that shimmers in soft candlelight
Everyone calls us the most perfect pair
Should I wear a veil or a rose in my hair
Well the train must be long and the waist must be tight
I’m looking for something in white

I’m looking for something in blue
Something real tiny, the baby’s brand new
He has his father’s nose and his chin
We once were hot lovers now we’re more like friends
Don’t tell me that just what old married folk do
I’m looking for something in blue

I’m looking for something in red
Like the one that I wore when I first turned his head
Strapless and sequined and cut down to there
Just a size larger than I wore last year
The guaranteed number to knock the man dead
I’m looking for something
I’ve gotta have something
I’m looking for something in red

“Alternative” Lyrics 113

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Nikki Haley; Hope Hicks; Sean Spicer; Jeff Sessions; Brenda Fitzgerald; Paul Manafort; George Papadopoulos; Michael Flynn; Rick Gates; Andrew McCabe, Et Alii
“Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee” from Grease

Look at me I’m Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won’t go to bed till I’m legally wed
I can’t I’m Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I’m Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won’t come across even Rock Hudson lost
His heart to Doris Day

I don’t drink I swear
I don’t rat my hair
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You’ve got your crust I’m no object of lust
I’m just plain Sandra Dee

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now your starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I’m Sandra Dee

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