“Alternative” Lyrics 182

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Economy
“Every Light in the House is Blown” by Cledus T. Judd

I told you I’d leave some flairs on
In case you ever wanted to find my home
You frowned and said well the dang Law should arrest ya

Now this old house keeps falling apart
So I went down to the local Wal-mart
And bought this coleman lantern to impress ya

Chorus
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
I keep on a-clapping
But they don’t clap on
House looks like where the Armish live
There’s really no point to pay the power bill
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
The numbers won’t even light up on my telephone
‘Coz every light in the house is blowd

It got awful dang depressing
The bulbs all blew out one by one
And I just can’t afford right now to replace them

Until then I’ll sit here in the dark
‘Coz I can’t get this old generator to start
I got four batteries but I don’t wanna waste ’em

Chorus
‘Coz every light in the house is blown
I’d love to sell the place but it can’t be shown
Looks like where the Clampet’s lived
Before they packed up and moved to Beverly Hills
Every light in the house is blown
No more reading ‘Country Weekly’
While I’m on the Throne
‘Coz every light in the house blown
Can’ see a thing ’til the crack of dawn
House looks like where Ben Franklin’s born
Before he flew a kite in an electrical storm
A-every light in the house is blown
I was hopin’ maybe Trace would float me along
‘Coz every light in the house is blown

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“Alternative” Lyrics 122

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Republicans; Republican Party
Auxiliary Topic: United States of America; Russia
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Mike Pence; Republicans; Pro-life Advocates
Quaternary Topic: Mass Shootings; Children
Quinary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Mass Murderers
Senary Topic: Environment; Economy
Septenary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
“Star Trekkin'” by Unknown; originally preformed by the Firm

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward ‘cuz we can’t find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report.
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can’t find reverse.

Medical update, Dr. McCoy.
It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
it’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk:
Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.

It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

Well, It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape ’em off, Jim.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engine Room, Mr. Scott:
Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;
Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
We come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty beam me up!

It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
It’s worse than that, he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

Well, it’s life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow ahhhhh!

Ye canna change the script Jim.
Och, #!& Jimmy.

It’s worse than that it’s physics, Jim.

Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.

Och, if I give it any more she’ll blow, Cap’n!

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, ‘cuz we can’t find reverse.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can’t find reverse.

“Alternative” Lyrics 85

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Environment
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Economy
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called ‘gitche gumee’
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and crew was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship’s bell rang
Could it be the north wind they’d been feelin’?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too,
T’was the witch of November come stealin’
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashin’
When afternoon came it was freezin’ rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin’
Fellas, it’s too rough to feed ya
At seven pm a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, it’s been good t’know ya
The captain wired in he had water comin’ in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

Lake Huron rolls, superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man’s dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the maritime sailors’ cathedral
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call ‘gitche gumee’
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early

“Alternative” Lyrics 40

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Scott Pruitt; Ryan Zinke; Republicans
“Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell

Late last night, I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi took away my old man
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone

Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

Paved paradise, put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique and a swinging hot spot
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

Took all the trees, put them in a tree museum
And they charged the people
A dollar and a half just to seem ’em
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi

Hey farmer, farmer, put away that DDT now
Give me spots on my apples
But leave me the birds and the bees
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

“Alternative” Lyrics 25

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Environment; Economy; Ryan Zinke
“Mine Mine Mine” by Mel Gibson, David Ogden Stiers, and Disney Studio Chorus from Pocahontas

[Ratcliffe]
The gold of Cortes
The jewels of Pizarro
Will seem like mere trinkets
By this time tomorrow
The gold we find here
Will dwarf them by far
Oh, with all ya got in ya, boys
Dig up Virginia, boys

Mine, boys, mine ev’ry mountain
And dig, boys, dig ’til ya drop
Grab a pick, boys
Quick, boys
Shove in a shovel
Uncover those lovely
Pebbles that sparkle and shine
It’s gold and it’s mine, mine, mine

[English Settlers]
Dig and dig and dig and diggety …
Dig and dig and dig and diggety …

[Wiggins]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Ratcliffe]
Oh, how I love it!

[Wiggins]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Ratliffe]
Riches for Cheap!

[Wiggins]
Hey nonny nonny
Ho nonny nonny

[Ratcliffe and Wiggins]
There’ll be heaps of it …

[Ratcliffe]
And I’ll be on top of the heap!

My rivals back home
It’s not that I’m bitter
But think how they’ll squirm
When they see how I glitter!
The ladies at court
Will be all a-twitter
The king will reward me
He’ll knight me … no, lord me!

It’s mine, mine, mine
For the taking
It’s mine, boys
Mine me that gold!
With those nuggets dug it…

It’s glory they’ll gimme
My dear friend, King Jimmy
Will probably build me a shrine

[Ratcliffe and Wiggins]
When all of the gold…

[Ratcliffe]
Is mine

[English Settlers]
Dig and dig and dig and diggety
Dig and dig and dig and diggety-dig!

[Smith]
All of my life, I have searched for a land
Like this one
A wilder, more challenging country
I couldn’t design
Hundreds of dangers await
And I don’t plan to miss one
In a land I can claim
A land I can tame
The greatest adventure is mine!

[Ratcliffe/English Settlers]
Keep on working, lands/Mine
Don’t be shirking, lands/Find a mother lode
Mine, boys, mind/Then find another load!
Mine me that gold/Dig! Dig! and diggety
Beautiful gold/Dig! Dig! for that gold

[All]
Make this island
My land!

[Ratcliffe]
Make the mounds big, boys
I’d help you to dig, boys
But I’ve got this crick in me spine

[Smith]
This land we behold …

[Ratcliffe]
This beauty untold …

[Smith]
A man can be bold!

[Ratcliffe]
It all can be sold!

[Ratcliffe/English Settlers ]

And the gold
Is …/So go for the gold
Mine!/We know which is here
Mine!/All the riches here
Mine!/From this minute
Mine!/This land and what’s in it is
Mine!

[Ratcliffe, Wiggins, and English Settlers]
Dig and dig and diggety-dig!
Hey nonny nonny nonny it’s mine!

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