“Alternative” Lyrics 488

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin; Russia; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims; Trump Family
“Daisy Bell” by Various

There is a flower within my heart, Daisy, Daisy!
Planted one day by a glancing dart,
Planted by Daisy Bell!
Whether she loves me or loves me not,
Sometimes it’s hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

CHORUS. (a little faster.)
Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer, do!
I’m half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won’t be a stylish marriage,
I can’t afford a carriage,
But you’ll look sweet on the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!

We will go “tandem” as man and wife, Daisy, Daisy!
“Ped’ling” away down the road of life, I and my Daisy Bell!
When the road’s dark we can both despise P’liceman and “lamps” as well;
There are “bright lights” in the dazzling eyes Of beautiful Daisy Bell!
(Chorus)

I will stand by you in “wheel” or woe, Daisy, Daisy!
You’ll be the bell(e) which I’ll ring you know! Sweet little Daisy Bell!
You’ll take the “lead” in each “trip” we take, Then if I don’t do well;
I will permit you to use the brake, My beautiful Daisy Bell!
(Chorus)

“Alternative” Lyrics 485

Topic: Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Matt Gaetz; Jim Jordan
“Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep” by Bob Rivers

If you’re havin’ trouble with your barnyard friends
You’ve got a thing for ewes
Been countin’ sheep but you’re not in bed
Heres what you gotta do:
Get out the barn
Stay off the farm!
Go read a nursery rhyme.
Don’t ring 976-Baaa
That kind of loves a crime! Hey,

Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!

My friend Larry has a little lamb
Her fleece is white as snow.
He keeps braggin’ bout her night and day
Someone should tell him, No,
Look at the flock
They’re all in shock!
Here comes that mutton fan.
Knock off the fleece
Give them some peace.
Don’t be a barn door man! No.

Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!

If you’re havin’ trouble with your barnyard friends
You’ve got a thing for ewes
Been countin’ sheep but you’re not in bed
Heres what you gotta do:
Look at the flock
They’re all in shock!
Here comes that mutton fan.
Knock off the fleece
Give them some peace.
Don’t be a barn door man! No.

Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they’re done with sheep!

Velcro gloves
Knee pads
Late-night dates

Done with sheep!

Warning signs
Electric fences
High Voltage!

Done with sheep!

Dirty deeds

Done with sheep!

Dirty deeds

Done with sheep!

Dirty deeds

Don’t tell em what I’ve done to you!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds
done with sheep!
Aaaargh!

(Quiet, girls! I think the shepherds coming!)

https://youtu.be/tdwBz7iT-wk

“Alternative” Lyrics 472

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Trump Family
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party
“A Bird in a Gilded Cage” by Various

The ballroom was filled with fashion’s throng
It shone with a thousand lights
And there was a woman who passed along
The fairest of all the sights

A girl to her lover then softly sighed
“There’s riches at her command.
“But she married for wealth, not for love,” he cried
“Though she lives in a mansion grand”

She’s only a bird in a gilded cage
A beautiful sight to see
You may think she’s happy and free from care
She’s not, though she seems to be
‘Tis sad when you think of her wasted life
For youth cannot mate with age
And her beauty was sold for an old man’s gold

She’s a bird in a gilded cage.

https://youtu.be/gEUmc5Uuwy8

“Alternative” Lyrics 427

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Trump Family
“All I Really Want for Christmas” by Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, Brian, Quagmire, Bonnie, Joe, Mort, Mayor Adam West, Herbert, Angela, Consuela, Bruce, Jillian, Tom Tucker, Tomik, Bellgarde, Carl, Mort Goldman, Tricia Takanawa and other Quahog Residents from Family Guy

Peter: Jessica Biel and Megan Fox Wearin’ nothin’ but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Brian: Well, that’s just not practical.

Lois: Spending a week in Mexico
With some black guys and some blow
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Peter: Aw, that sounds terrific.
How about you, kids?

Chris: I would like a pair of skates,
Then I’d go out skating,
But I really don’t know how to skate.
Ha-ha!

Meg: I want a Lexus all in pink
And a dad who doesn’t drink.

Peter: Oh, and that reminds me, twelve kegs of beer.

The Griffins (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian: Santa’s got his work cut out for him.

Peter: Oh, we ain’t even gotten started yet.

Lois: I wanna tour the Spanish coast…

Peter: Lunch with Michael Landon’s ghost…

Peter and Lois: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Lois: Wait, what?

Peter: Forget it. Keep goin’.

Chris: Jennifer Garner in my bed…

Meg: Softer voices in my head…

Chris and Meg: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Stewie: Yellow cake uranium.
Never mind the reason.
Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball.
[laughs]

Brian: Doesn’t this seem like too much stuff?

Peter: Poo on you!
It’s not enough!

Stewie: Buddy boy, I got your Christmas right here.
[grabs his crotch]

The Griffins: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian: I’m just saying it seems a bit excessive.

Lois: Oh, get off your soapbox, Brian, it’s Christmas.

Peter: And Christmas is about gettin’. Everyone in town knows that.

Quagmire: Japanese girls with no restraint
Just to choke me till I faint
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Ooh, giggity!

Bonnie: Platinum-plated silverware…

Joe: Just one day when kids don’t stare…

Bonnie and Joe: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Mort: If you put a Christmas tree
In the public airport,
I will go to court and sue your ass!
Happy holiday!

Mayor Adam West: Wouldn’t I love a Tinkertoy?

Herbert: And a little drummer boy.
He can either tap his drum or my rear.

Mayor Adam West, Herbert and Mort: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Tom Tucker: I want a golden mustache comb.

Angela: And some spermicidal foam.

Tom Tucker and Angela: That’s all I really want for Christmas this year.

Carter: I want a brand new pitching wedge.

Consuela: I would like more Lemon Pledge.

Carter and Consuela: That’s all I really want for Christmas this year.

Bruce: I just want a wedding ring
From someone named Jeffrey.

Jillian: I just want some colored Easter eggs.

Carl: I want a Blu-ray of The Wiz.

Tomik: We don’t know what “Christmas” is.

Bellgarde: We have something else called “Kishgev Fufleer”.

Everyone (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

“Alternative” Lyrics 417

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Trump Family; Jeffrey Epstein; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Wildside” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Ah yeah huh..America the Beautiful
Huh, yeah, let me introduce y’all..to the Wildside

Annie was a high school cheerleader
Pom poms and bobby socks, and no girl was sweeter

Come Prom time everybody was on the line
All the fellas swinging nickel and dime
Tales about love and lust and trust
But Annie took it all in stride
Cause deep inside Annie had aspirations
Besides that had expectations
Wanted to be a chemical engineer
Making fifty to fifty-five thousand a year
Her first year of college was a success
But along commes Billy possessed and obsessed
He took Annie on a fatal date
And showed her things that make heartbeats accelerate
Annie took a hit breathed two short breaths
One for life..the last for death
Now she’s gone, a former Valedictorian
Ended up becoming a topic for historians
Washed up dreams and shattered pride
All because Annie took a hit – on the Wildside

Ron had enough of being broke everyday
Saying to himself, there’s gotta be a better way
Cause 9 to 5 wasn’t worth the headaches
So Ron figured out a faster way to make – money
Before you know it, he’s a rich man
Gold on every finger of his hand
A brand new BMW, a condo, Ron ended up a John Doe
A body was found in the alley but never claimed
Full of bullet holes but none to blame
Ron became another victim of homicide
Because he chose to walk – on the Wildside

Charles had everything going for him
A top paying job, a good life, a good wife
A baby boy on the way any day
A gentleman attitude is all he displayed
Carol was the wife he loved and adored
Her family and friends treated him like an Ambassador
One night on the other side of town
A police dispatcher picked up a weird sound
Charles on the car phone asking for help
Claiming a burglar shot his wife and himself
His pregnant wife lay slumped over
Dreams corrupted and a young life over
Extensive searches throughout the projects
Put a lot of people through misery and wreck
Everyone a suspect ’til someone was found
Interrogated ’cause their skin was brown
Then there was Bennett, guilty until proven so
But soon as the case started moving slow
What do you know, sure as as sea gull gets webbed toed
Charles was the culprit
The whole plot was an insurance scam
Charles and his brother came up with a plan
Kill Carol, collect a big check
Blame it on a black man, what the heck?
And just before the story was known
Charles had a feeling that his cover was blown
So he jumped off a bridge
Committed suicide
This is how it is – on the Wildside

Little Tiffany, only thirteen
Came to the city, place of big dreams
Visiting family and friends for the summertime
Sittin’ on a mailbox, watchin’ the boys climb trees
And the girls play hopscotch
So far, her vacation was top notch
Out of the blue, a Mercedes at top speed
Gang bangers chasin’ the robbers on the stampede
Quick as a blink shots rang out loud
And a hail of bullets zipped through the crowd
One hit Tiffany, and instantly she died
Innocently – on the Wildside

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