“Alternative” Lyrics 181

Topic: Woodrow Wilson; Jimmy Carter; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Barack Obama
Auxiliary Topic: Environment; Mass Shootings; Porn Stars; Resistance
“Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin’ on a midnight bus bound for Mexico
One’s headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An’ two of them were searchin’ for lost souls

That driver never ever saw the stop sign
An’ eighteen wheelers can’t stop on a dime

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an’ love for growin’ things in his young son’s heart
An’ that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give ’em all a better start
An’ that preacher whispered, “Can’t you see the Promised Land?”
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker’s hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That’s the story that our preacher told last Sunday
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see
He said “Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an’ the preacher
Who gave this Bible to my mama,
Who read it to me”

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, now I guess we know
It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

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“Alternative” Lyrics 168

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Snowflakes
Auxiliary Topic: Environment
“In Summer” by Josh Gad from Frozen

Bees’ll buzz, kids will blow dandelion fuzz
And I’ll be doing whatever snow does in summer.
A drink in my hand, my snow up against the burning sand
Probably getting gorgeously tanned in summer.

I’ll finally see a summer breeze, blow away a winter storm.
And find out what happens to solid water when it gets warm!
And I can’t wait to see, what my buddies all think of me.
Just imagine how much cooler I’ll be in summer.

Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bah bah bah bah boo

The hot and the cold are both so intense,
Put ’em together it just makes sense!

Rrr Raht da daht dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo

Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle,
But put me in summer and I’ll be a, happy snowman!

When life gets rough, I like to hold on to my dream,
Of relaxing in the summer sun, just lettin’ off steam.

Oh the sky would be blue, and you guys will be there too
When I finally do what frozen things do in summer.

I’m gonna tell him.

Don’t you dare!

In summer!​

“Alternative” Lyrics 122

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Republicans; Republican Party
Auxiliary Topic: United States of America; Russia
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Mike Pence; Republicans; Pro-life Advocates
Quaternary Topic: Mass Shootings; Children
Quinary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Mass Murderers
Senary Topic: Environment; Economy
Septenary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
“Star Trekkin'” by Unknown; originally preformed by the Firm

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward ‘cuz we can’t find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report.
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can’t find reverse.

Medical update, Dr. McCoy.
It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
it’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk:
Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.

It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

Well, It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow,
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape ’em off, Jim.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engine Room, Mr. Scott:
Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;
Ye canna change the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
We come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty beam me up!

It’s worse than that he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim;
It’s worse than that, he’s dead Jim, dead Jim, dead.

Well, it’s life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
There’s Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow ahhhhh!

Ye canna change the script Jim.
Och, #!& Jimmy.

It’s worse than that it’s physics, Jim.

Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.

Och, if I give it any more she’ll blow, Cap’n!

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, ‘cuz we can’t find reverse.

Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin’ across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can’t find reverse.

“Alternative” Lyrics 85

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Environment
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Economy
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called ‘gitche gumee’
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and crew was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship’s bell rang
Could it be the north wind they’d been feelin’?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too,
T’was the witch of November come stealin’
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashin’
When afternoon came it was freezin’ rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin’
Fellas, it’s too rough to feed ya
At seven pm a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, it’s been good t’know ya
The captain wired in he had water comin’ in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

Lake Huron rolls, superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man’s dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the maritime sailors’ cathedral
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call ‘gitche gumee’
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early

“Alternative” Lyrics 53

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Paul Manafort; Rick Gates; George Papadopoulos; Scott Pruitt; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Environment (e.g. clean air)
“Too Much Fun” by Daryle Singletary

Blue lights flashing in my rear view
The sheriff said, “Boy I should’ve known it was you
You got fourteen people in the back of this truck
I warned you twice and now I’m writing you up”
I said “Officer, what have I done?”
He smiled and said, “Boy you’re having too much fun”

Too much fun, what’s that mean?
It’s like too much money, there’s no such thing
It’s like a girl too pretty with too much class
Being too lucky, a car too fast
No matter what they say, I’ve done
But I ain’t never had too much fun

There was a fight Friday night at the stumble inn
Me and ‘ole Harley just had to join in
Next thing you know we were both seeing stars
They threw us out, closed down the bar
I said, “The Long Branch is open the night’s still young
And we ain’t never had too much fun”

Too much fun, what’s that mean?
It’s like too much money, there’s no such thing
It’s like a girl too pretty with too much class
Being too lucky, a car too fast
No matter what they say, I’ve done
But I ain’t never had too much fun

I’m a holly terror, a tornado
Wind me up, turn me loose and let me go

Too much fun, what’s that mean?
It’s like too much money, there’s no such thing
It’s like a girl too pretty with too much class
Being too lucky, a car too fast
No matter what they say, I’ve done
But I ain’t never had too much fun

No matter what they say, I’ve done
‘Cause I ain’t never had to much fun
Give me the reigns and let me run
‘Cause I ain’t never had to much fun

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