“Alternative” Lyrics 91

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donal J. Trump’s Administation
“Small Town Trap” by Eve 6

Suffocate from lack of stimulation
Television time.
Gonna break with every bead of sweat,
My heart rate seems to climb.
My friend and I stick to the tired couches,
Please pass the time.
I found a dime under the corner cushion
Wishing it was some place else,
And so do I, so do I

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room
Choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Inspire me cause if you don’t
I think I’ll dissipate to dust.
The liar in me says something’s gonna happen soon because it must
My friend and I stick to the tired couches
Please pass the time.
I just found a dime under the corner cushion
Wishing it was someplace else
And so do I, so do I

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Community immunity is the shot I crave.
A sleepless sleep,
Slow motion dream,
Want to dig my grave?

Time ticks away on the longest day.
Want to break away on the longest day

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

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“Alternative” Lyrics 78

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Russia
Auxiliary Topic: Republicans; Russia; Corporations; Special Interest Groups; Lobbyists
Tertiary Topic: Politicians
Allegory: Promiscuity
Auxiliary Allegory: Promiscuity
“(How Much is That) Doggie in the Window” by Patti Page

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog i’s for sale

I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If he has a dog, he won’t be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog is for sale

I read in the papers there are robbers
With flashlights that shine in the dark
If he has a doggie to protect him
And scare them away with one bark

I don’t want a bunny or a kitty
I don’t want a parrot that talks
I don’t want a bowl of little fishies
You can’t take a goldfish for a walk

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog is
I do hope that dog is
I do hope that dog is for sale

“Alternative” Lyrics 73

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Trump Family; Republicans; Robert Mueller
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Politicians; Vladimir Putin
“Take the Money and Run” by the Steve Miller Band

Hoo-hoo
This is a story about Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue
Two young lovers with nothin’ better to do
Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose
They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
That’s where they ran into a great big hassle
Billy Joe shot a man while robbing his castle
Bobbie Sue took the money and run

Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Go on, take the money and run

Hoo-hoo-hoo, Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes
Bobbie Sue, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Billy Joe caught up to her the very next day

They got the money, hey, you know they got away
They headed down south and they’re still running today
Singin’ go on take the money and run

Go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Oh lord, go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo
Hey, yeah, go on, take the money and run, yeah (yeah)
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Oh lord, go on, take the money and run, yeah (yeah)
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run, oh lord

“Alternative” Lyrics 64

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team
“Goodbye Earl” by Dixie Chicks

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4-H club, both active in the FFA
After graduation
Mary Anne went out lookin’ for a bright new world
Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl

It wasn’t two weeks after she got married that
Wanda started gettin’ abused
She’d put on dark glasses or long sleeved blouses
Or make-up to cover a bruise
Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
And she let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta
On a red eye midnight flight
She held Wanda’s hand as they worked out a plan
And it didn’t take ’em long to decide

That Earl had to die
goodbye Earl
Those black-eyed peas
they tasted alright to me
Earl
You’re feelin’ weak?
Why don’t you lay down and sleep
Earl
Ain’t it dark wrapped up in that tarp
Earl

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house high and low
Then they tipped their hats and said, thank you ladies
If you hear from him let us know
Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer
And summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand
Out on highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam
And they don’t lose any sleep at night
’cause

Earl had to die
goodbye Earl
We need a break
let’s go out to the lake
Earl
We’ll pack a lunch
and stuff you in the trunk
Earl
Is that alright?
Good!
Let’s go for a ride
Earl

“Alternative” Lyrics 52

Topic: Robert Mueller; Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans; Republican Party
“The Battle of Jericho” by Various

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

You may talk about your King of Gideon,
You may talk about your men of Saul,
But there’s none like good old Joshua
And the battle of Jericho!

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

Up to the walls of Jericho
He marched with spear in hand;
“Go blow them ram horns,” Joshua cried,
“Cause the battle is in my hand.”

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

Then the lamb, ram,
Sheep horns began to blow,
Trumpets began to sound,
Joshua commanded the children to shout
And the walls came tumbling down!

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

“Alternative” Lyrics 47

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“You Can’t Get to Heaven on Roller Skates” by Betty Johnson

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
On roller skates
(On roller skates)

You gotta work your way
(Gotta work your way)
To the pearly gates
(Those pearly gates)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
On roller skates
Gotta work your way
To the pearly gates

And you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Chorus:]
Yes, you gotta believe
Believe, believe
Oh, you gotta believe
Believe, believe
Oh, you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
With powder and paint
(With powder and paint)

‘Cause it makes you look
(Cause it makes you look)
Like what you ain’t
(Like what you ain’t)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
With powder and paint
‘Cause it makes you look
Like what you ain’t

Oh, you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Repeat chorus]

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
With a pot of gold
(With a pot of gold)

‘Cause nothing up there
(Cause nothing up there)
Is bought and sold
(Is bought and sold)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
With a pot of gold
‘Cause nothing up there
Is bought and sold

Oh, you gotta believe
Oh, if you wanna get in

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
On roller skates
(On roller skates)

You gotta work your way
(Gotta work your way)
To the pearly gates
(To the pearly gates)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
On roller skates
Gotta work your way
To the pearly gates

And you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Repeat chorus]

(If you wanna get in)

“Alternative” Lyrics 15

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration (particularly family members on staff); Trump Family
“Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom” by H. Jon Benjamin and Kristen Schaal from Bob’s Burgers

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum
Can’t let them see me with my pants down
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now
But I’ll be outta here in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away

Let’s be clear
I did absolutely nothing wrong
I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
This is just to say
If Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But he’ll be outta there in no time
No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom/Let’s be clear
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum/I did absolutely nothing wrong I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
Can’t let them see me with my pants down/This is just to say, if
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now/Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But I’ll be outta here in no time/But he’ll be outta there in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine/No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day/Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away/If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way

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