Last night, I had the most mother fucking disturbing dream ever! I worked at a restaurant that served baby burritos. Not small burritos, but burritos made with living, human infants!
Blame life
If it were not for life, there would be no death.
My first proclamation
When I’m elected to office, my first proclamation will be to abolish daylight saving time! There will be no more fiddling with clocks twice a year!
