“Alternative” Lyrics 113

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Nikki Haley; Hope Hicks; Sean Spicer; Jeff Sessions; Brenda Fitzgerald; Paul Manafort; George Papadopoulos; Michael Flynn; Rick Gates; Andrew McCabe, Et Alii
“Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee” from Grease

Look at me I’m Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won’t go to bed till I’m legally wed
I can’t I’m Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I’m Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won’t come across even Rock Hudson lost
His heart to Doris Day

I don’t drink I swear
I don’t rat my hair
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do
You’ve got your crust I’m no object of lust
I’m just plain Sandra Dee

Elvis, Elvis, let me be
Keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool now your starting to drool

Hey, Fongul, I’m Sandra Dee

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“Alternative” Lyrics 112

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Resistance
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Vladimir Putin; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Robert Mueller
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stephanie Gregory Clifford/Stormy Daniels; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
“Look It Up” by Ashton Shepherd

The word is faithful, look it up
It don’t mean sneakin’ around
Behind my back like you ain’t gettin’ enough
How ’bout forever,
Just look it up
It means through thick and thin
And pitchin’ in even when the times get tough

The word is easy, look it up
And you’ll see a picture of that piece of trash
Ridin’ ’round in your pickup truck
Let’s try liar,
Just look it up
But you’ll need boots to wade through all the bull
You tell me when you come home drunk
It’s just like you to be so clueless
‘Cause you never thought I’d do this

I said go, goodbye, get lost, get out, get gone
The word is over
Look it up

You said you’re sober, look it up
It’s right next to hell is freezin’ over,
Flyin’ pigs, and all that stuff
And how bout baby, look it up
It’s what you call me and it’s how you act
Every time I call your bluff
It’s just like you to keep denyin’
Save your whinin’ and your cryin’

I said go, goodbye, get lost, get out, get gone
The word is over
Look it up

The word’s forgiveness, look it up
It’s what Jesus has in store for you
But I don’t no matter what
Quit your beggin’ and your prayin’
Can’t you hear what I’ve been sayin’?

I said go, goodbye, get lost, get out, get gone
The word is over
Look it up

Asshole

Just look it up, look it up

“Alternative” Lyrics 103

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Devin Nunes; Trey Gowdy; Bob Corker; Jeff Flake; Orrin Hatch; Jason Chaffetz; Et Alii
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Nikki Haley; Hope Hicks; Sean Spicer; Jeff Sessions; Brenda Fitzgerald; Paul Manafort; George Papadopoulos; Michael Flynn; Rick Gates; Andrew McCabe, Et Alii
Quaternary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
“Who’s Cheatin’ Who” by Alan Jackson

Everywhere you look
You can write a book
On the trouble with a woman and a man
But you can not impose
You can’t stick your nose
Into something that you don’t understand

Still you wonder
Who’s cheatin’ who
Who’s being true
And who don’t even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who’s doing right
With someone tonight
And who’s car is parked next door

I thought I knew her well
I really couldn’t tell
That she had another lover on her mind
See it felt so right
When she held me tight
How could I be so blind

Still you wonder
Who’s cheatin’ who
Who’s being true
And who don’t even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who’s doing right
With someone tonight
Who’s car is parked next door

Guitar

A heart is on the line
Each and every time
Love is stolen in the shadows of the night
Though it’s wrong all along
It keeps goin’ on
As long as you keep it outta sight

Still you wonder
Who’s cheatin’ who
And who’s being true
Who don’t even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who’s doing right
With someone tonight
Who’s car is parked next door

Still you wonder
Who’s cheatin’ who
And who’s being true
Who don’t even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who’s doing right
To someone tonight
Who’s car is parked next door

Still you wonder
Who’s cheatin’ who
And who’s being true
Who don’t even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Who’s doing right
With someone tonight
Who’s car is parked next door

“Alternative” Lyrics 101

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Devin Nunes; Trey Gowdy; Bob Corker; Jeff Flake; Orrin Hatch; Jason Chaffetz; Et Alii
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Jared Kushner
Quaternary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Nikki Haley; Hope Hicks; Sean Spicer; Jeff Sessions; Brenda Fitzgerald; Paul Manafort; George Papadopoulos; Michael Flynn; Rick Gates; Andrew McCabe, Et Alii
Quinary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Ivana Zelníčková; Marla Maples; Melania Trump; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Dawn Vanguard/Alana Evans
“Better Dig Two” by the Band Perry

I told you on the day we wed
I was gonna love you ’til I’s dead
Made you wait ’til our wedding night
That’s the first and the last time I wear white

So if the ties that bind ever do come loose
Tie them in a knot like a hangman’s noose
‘Cause I’ll go to heaven or I’ll go to hell
Before I’ll see you with someone else

Put me in the ground
Put me six foot down
And let the stone say:

Here lies the girl whose only crutch
Was loving one man just a little too much
If you go before I do
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

Well,
It won’t be whiskey, won’t be meth
It’ll be your name on my last breath
If divorce or death ever do us part
The coroner will call it a broken heart

So put me in the ground
Put me six foot down
And let the stone say:

Here lies the girl whose only crutch
Was loving one man just a little too much
If you go before I do
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

Dig two
Ooh, ooh

I took your name when I took those vows
I meant ’em back then and I mean ’em right now,
Oh, right now

If the ties that bind ever do come loose
If forever ever ends for you
If that ring gets a little too tight
You might as well read me my last rights

And let the stone say:

Here lies the girl whose only crutch
Was loving one man just a little too much
If you go before I do
Gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig, uh!

Heavy stone right next to mine,
We’ll be together ’til the end of time
Don’t you go before I do,
I’m gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two

I told you on the day we wed
I was gonna love you ’til I’s dead

“Alternative” Lyrics 35

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Any and All of Donald J. Trump’s Wives
“Risseldy, Rosseldy” by Various

I married my wife
In the month of June,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,
I carried her off
In a silver spoon,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

She combed her hair
But once a year,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,
With every rake
She shed a tear,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

She swept the floor
But once a year,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,
She swore her broom
Was much to dear,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

She churned her butter
In Dad’s old boot,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,
And for a dasher
Used her foot,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

The butter came out
A grizzly gray,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,
The cheese took legs
And ran away,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

“Alternative” Lyrics 18

Topic: Melania Trump
“‘Fore She was Mama” by Clay Walker

‘Bout ten years old, hide and seek
I found me in the closet
Ready or not, I stumbled on
And opened up that box of
Yearbooks, letters, black and whites
A hundred, maybe more
Next thing I know my brothers and me
Got ’em scattered on the floor (yeah)

There was one of her, flippin’ the bird
Sittin’ on a Harley
And a few with some hairy hippie dude
Turns out his name was Charlie
Her hair, her clothes, her drinkin’, smokin’
Had us boys confused
I’ll never forget the day us nosy kids got introduced…

To mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
Won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But I saw mama ‘fore she was mama

We put that box right where it was
And never said a word
But growin’ up got hard just tryin’
Not to picture her
In anything but aprons, dresses
Mini-vans and church
Oh, and Daddy would have whooped our butts
For diggin’ up that dirt…

On mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
She won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But I saw mama ‘fore she was mama

We laugh and hang it over her head
Right above her halo
Her face turns red when we bring up
That tie-dyed Winnebago
She runs and hides and still denies
That hip-high rose tattoo
She burned that box of forget-me-nots
When she found out we knew…

About mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
Won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But that was mama ‘fore she was mama

And there’s that one down in the Bahamas
But that was mama ‘fore she was mama

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