“Alternative” Lyrics 91

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donal J. Trump’s Administation
“Small Town Trap” by Eve 6

Suffocate from lack of stimulation
Television time.
Gonna break with every bead of sweat,
My heart rate seems to climb.
My friend and I stick to the tired couches,
Please pass the time.
I found a dime under the corner cushion
Wishing it was some place else,
And so do I, so do I

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room
Choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Inspire me cause if you don’t
I think I’ll dissipate to dust.
The liar in me says something’s gonna happen soon because it must
My friend and I stick to the tired couches
Please pass the time.
I just found a dime under the corner cushion
Wishing it was someplace else
And so do I, so do I

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Community immunity is the shot I crave.
A sleepless sleep,
Slow motion dream,
Want to dig my grave?

Time ticks away on the longest day.
Want to break away on the longest day

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out
Here I sit and bake,
My face is breaking out.
Satan’s in the living room choking me with apathy.
Small town trap
With dreams of breaking out.

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“Alternative” Lyrics 85

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Environment
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Economy
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” by Gordon Lightfoot

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they called ‘gitche gumee’
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
When the skies of November turn gloomy
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty
That good ship and crew was a bone to be chewed
When the gales of November came early

The ship was the pride of the American side
Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
With a crew and good captain well seasoned
Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
When they left fully loaded for Cleveland
And later that night when the ship’s bell rang
Could it be the north wind they’d been feelin’?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too,
T’was the witch of November come stealin’
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the gales of November came slashin’
When afternoon came it was freezin’ rain
In the face of a hurricane west wind

When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin’
Fellas, it’s too rough to feed ya
At seven pm a main hatchway caved in, he said
Fellas, it’s been good t’know ya
The captain wired in he had water comin’ in
And the good ship and crew was in peril
And later that night when his lights went outta sight
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
And all that remains is the faces and the names
Of the wives and the sons and the daughters

Lake Huron rolls, superior sings
In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man’s dreams
The islands and bays are for sportsmen
And farther below Lake Ontario
Takes in what Lake Erie can send her
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
With the gales of November remembered

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the maritime sailors’ cathedral
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call ‘gitche gumee’
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early

“Alternative” Lyrics 78

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Russia
Auxiliary Topic: Republicans; Russia; Corporations; Special Interest Groups; Lobbyists
Tertiary Topic: Politicians
Allegory: Promiscuity
Auxiliary Allegory: Promiscuity
“(How Much is That) Doggie in the Window” by Patti Page

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog i’s for sale

I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If he has a dog, he won’t be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog is for sale

I read in the papers there are robbers
With flashlights that shine in the dark
If he has a doggie to protect him
And scare them away with one bark

I don’t want a bunny or a kitty
I don’t want a parrot that talks
I don’t want a bowl of little fishies
You can’t take a goldfish for a walk

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that dog is
I do hope that dog is
I do hope that dog is for sale

“Alternative” Lyrics 73

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Trump Family; Republicans; Robert Mueller
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Politicians; Vladimir Putin
“Take the Money and Run” by the Steve Miller Band

Hoo-hoo
This is a story about Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue
Two young lovers with nothin’ better to do
Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose
They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
That’s where they ran into a great big hassle
Billy Joe shot a man while robbing his castle
Bobbie Sue took the money and run

Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Go on, take the money and run

Hoo-hoo-hoo, Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes
Bobbie Sue, whoa, whoa, she slipped away
Billy Joe caught up to her the very next day

They got the money, hey, you know they got away
They headed down south and they’re still running today
Singin’ go on take the money and run

Go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Oh lord, go on, take the money and run
Hoo-hoo-hoo
Hey, yeah, go on, take the money and run, yeah (yeah)
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run
Oh lord, go on, take the money and run, yeah (yeah)
Hoo-hoo-hoo, go on, take the money and run, oh lord

“Alternative” Lyrics 72

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Fired and Resigned Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
Auxiliary Topic: Robert Mueller; Flipped Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
“Ten in the Bed” by Various

There were ten in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were nine in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were eight in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were seven in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were six in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were five in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were four in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were three in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There were two in a bed
And the little one said
“Roll over, roll over”
So they all rolled over
And one fell out

There was one in a bed
And the little one said
“Good night!”

“Alternative” Lyrics 52

Topic: Robert Mueller; Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans; Republican Party
“The Battle of Jericho” by Various

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

You may talk about your King of Gideon,
You may talk about your men of Saul,
But there’s none like good old Joshua
And the battle of Jericho!

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

Up to the walls of Jericho
He marched with spear in hand;
“Go blow them ram horns,” Joshua cried,
“Cause the battle is in my hand.”

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

Then the lamb, ram,
Sheep horns began to blow,
Trumpets began to sound,
Joshua commanded the children to shout
And the walls came tumbling down!

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho,
And the walls came tumbling down!

“Alternative” Lyrics 47

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“You Can’t Get to Heaven on Roller Skates” by Betty Johnson

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
On roller skates
(On roller skates)

You gotta work your way
(Gotta work your way)
To the pearly gates
(Those pearly gates)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
On roller skates
Gotta work your way
To the pearly gates

And you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Chorus:]
Yes, you gotta believe
Believe, believe
Oh, you gotta believe
Believe, believe
Oh, you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
With powder and paint
(With powder and paint)

‘Cause it makes you look
(Cause it makes you look)
Like what you ain’t
(Like what you ain’t)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
With powder and paint
‘Cause it makes you look
Like what you ain’t

Oh, you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Repeat chorus]

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
With a pot of gold
(With a pot of gold)

‘Cause nothing up there
(Cause nothing up there)
Is bought and sold
(Is bought and sold)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
With a pot of gold
‘Cause nothing up there
Is bought and sold

Oh, you gotta believe
Oh, if you wanna get in

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
(Oh, you can’t get to Heaven)
On roller skates
(On roller skates)

You gotta work your way
(Gotta work your way)
To the pearly gates
(To the pearly gates)

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven
On roller skates
Gotta work your way
To the pearly gates

And you gotta believe
If you wanna get in

[Repeat chorus]

(If you wanna get in)

“Alternative” Lyrics 36

Topic: Donald J. Trump.: Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans
“You’re so Vain” by Carly Simon

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf, it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner
They’d be your partner, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain,
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, (you’re so vain)
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, (you’re so vain)
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

Well I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse, naturally, won
Then you flew your Learjet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not, you’re with some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend,
Wife of a close friend, and

You’re so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You’re so vain, (you’re so vain)
I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

“Alternative” Lyrics 15

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration (particularly family members on staff); Trump Family
“Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom” by H. Jon Benjamin and Kristen Schaal from Bob’s Burgers

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum
Can’t let them see me with my pants down
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now
But I’ll be outta here in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away

Let’s be clear
I did absolutely nothing wrong
I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
This is just to say
If Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But he’ll be outta there in no time
No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom/Let’s be clear
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum/I did absolutely nothing wrong I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
Can’t let them see me with my pants down/This is just to say, if
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now/Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But I’ll be outta here in no time/But he’ll be outta there in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine/No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day/Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away/If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way

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