“Alternative” Lyrics 214

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
“Master of the House” from Les Misérables

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores (no, no, no, no not tonight) spend their lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors,
And they crawl out on all fours

Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of ’em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who’s content to be

Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn’t cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve ’em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin’ up their knick-knacks when they can’t see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody’s bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed ’em in the end!

Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never was a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody’s boon companion
Everybody’s chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won’t I skin you to the bone!

Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it’s beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)

Charge ’em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It’s amazing how it grows!

(Oh, sorry love
Must get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what’s happened since?

Master of the house? Isn’t worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he’s quite a lover but there’s not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I’ve lasted living with this bastard in the house!

Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don’t make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!

Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!

Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master’s arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!

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“Alternative” Lyrics 207

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Trump Family; Robert Mueller; Resistance
“Ridin'” by Chamillionaire feat. Krayzie Bone

[Chorus]
They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
My music so loud
I’m swangin
They hopin that they gonna catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin’ dirty

Police think they can see me lean
I’m tint so it ain’t easy to be seen
When you see me ride by they can see the glean
And my shine on the deck and the TV screen
Ride with a new chick, she like hold up
Next to the play-station controller is a full clip and my pistola
Turn a jacker into a coma
Girl you ain’t know, I’m crazy like Krayzie Bone
Just tryin to bone ain’t tryin’ to have no babies
Rock clean as hell so I pull in ladies
Laws on patrolling you know they hate me
Music turned all the way up until the maximum
I can speak for some niggas tryin to jack for some
But we packin’ somethin’ that we have
And um will have a nigga locked up in the maximum
Security cell, I’m grippin’ oak
Music loud and tippin’ slow
Twin steady twistin’ like hit this dough
Police pull up right behind and it’s in his throat
Windows down gotta stop pollution
CD’s change niggas like who is that producing?
This the Play-N-Skills when we out and cruisin’
Got warrants in every city except Houston but I’m still ain’t losin’

[Chorus]

I been drinkin’ and smokin’ holdin’ shit cause a brother can’t focus
I gotta get to home ‘fore the po po’s scope this big ol’ Excursion
Swerving all up in the curve man
Nigga been sippin on that Hennessey
And the gin again is in again we in the wind
Doin’ a hundred while I puff on the blunt
And rollin’ another one up, we livin like we ain’t givin’ a fuck
I got a revolver in my right hand, 40 oz on my lap freezing my balls
Roll a nigga tree, green leaves and all
Comin’ pretty deep, me and my dogs
I gotta get back to back streets
Wanted by the six pound and I got heat
Glock glock shots to the block we creep creep
Pop Pop hope cops don’t see me, on a low key
With no regards for the law we dodge em like fuck em all
But I won’t get caught up and brought up on charges for none of y’all
Keep a gun in car, and a blunt to spark,
But well if you want, nigga you poppin dark
Ready or not we bust shots off in the air Krayzie Bone and Chamillionaire

[Chorus]

Do what you thinkin’ so, I tried to let you go
Turn up a blink of light and I swang it slower
A nigga upset for sure
‘Cause they think they know that they catchin’ me
With plenty of the drink and ‘dro
So they get behind me tryin to check my tags,
Look at my rear-view and they smilin’
Thinkin’ they’ll catch me on the wrong well keep tryin’
Cause they denyin’ is racial profiling
Houston, TX you can check my tags
Pull me over try to check my slab
Glove compartment gotta get my cash
Cause the crooked cops try to come up fast
And been a baller that I am I talk to them,
Giving a damn bout not feeling my attitude
When they realize I ain’t even ridin’ dirty
Bet you’ll be leavin with an even madder mood
I’mma laugh at you then I’mma have to cruise
I’m in number two on some more DJ Screw
You can’t arrest me plus you can’t sue
This a message to the laws tellin’ them WE HATE YOU
I can’t be touched or tell ’em that they shoulda known
Tippin’ down, sittin’ crooked on my chrome
Bookin’ my phone, tryin’ to find a chick I wanna bone
Like they couldn’t stop me I’m about to pull up at your home and it’s on

[Chorus: x2]

“Alternative” Lyrics 196

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Eric Trump; Donald Trump Jr.; Twitter; Fox News; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Vladimir Putin
“Where Everybody Knows Your Name” by Gary Portnoy from Cheers

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

All those nights when you’ve got no lights
The check is in the mail
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by its tail
And your third fiance didn’t show

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee’s dead
The morning’s looking bright
And your shrink ran off to Europe
And didn’t even write
And your husband wants to be a girl

Be glad there’s one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to go where people know
People are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name

Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name

“Alternative” Lyrics 145

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Trump Family; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Facebook; Cambridge Analytica; Vladimir Putin
“The Farmer in the Dell” by Various

The farmer in the dell (2x)
Hi-ho, the derry-o
The farmer in the dell

The farmer takes the wife (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The farmer takes the wife

The wife takes the child (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The wife takes the child

The child takes the nurse (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The child takes the nurse

The nurse takes the cow (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The nurse takes the cow

The cow takes the pig (2x)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The bull takes the pig

The pig takes the dog (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The cow takes the dog

The dog takes the cat (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The dog takes the cat

The cat takes the mouse (or rat) (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The cat takes the mouse(or rat)

The mouse (or rat) takes the cheese (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The mouse (or rat) takes the cheese

The cheese stands alone (2×)
Hi-ho, the derry-o…
The cheese stands alone

“Alternative” Lyrics 134

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Vladimir Putin
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Base
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
“I Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor,
Reaching for the phone cause, I can’t fight it any more
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door
Wishing you’d come sweepin’ in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk, and I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now

Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now
I just need you now

Oh baby I need you now

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