“Alternative” Lyrics 20

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Mar-A-Largo
“Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffett

Nibblin’ on sponge cake
Watchin’ the sun bake
All of those tourists covered in oil
Strummin’ my six-string
On my front porch swing
Smell those shrimp hey they’re beginnin’ to boil

Wastin’ away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
But I know it’s nobody’s fault

I don’t know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothin’ to show but this brand new tattoo
But it’s a real beauty
A Mexican cutie
How it got here I haven’t a clue

Wastin’ away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be my fault

I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heel had to cruise on back home
But there’s booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wastin’ away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
But I know it’s my own damn fault
Yes and some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
And I know it’s my own damn fault

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“Alternative” Lyrics 19

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Love Don’t Live Here” by Lady Antebellum

Well, this heart of mine
Has been hardened like a stone
It might take some time
To get back what is gone
But I’m movin’ on
And you don’t haunt my dreams
Like you did before
When I would curse your name
Hey

Well, I heard the news
That you were back in town
Just passin’ through
To claim your lost and found
But I’m over you
And there ain’t nothin’ that
You could say or do
To take what you did back

You’ve got nerve to waltz right in
And think what’s mine is yours again

I been doin’ fine without you
Forgettin’ all the love we once knew
And girl, I ain’t the one that slammed that door
But now you say you’ve changed your thinkin’
But I ain’t got a heart for breakin’
So go and pick your bags up off my floor
‘Cause love don’t live here anymore
Oh, no

Well baby, you can try
To tell me how it is
And try to justify
Everything you did
But honey, I’m no fool
And I been down this road
Too many times with you
I think it’s best you go

Well, I got one thing left to say
Is you can lay in the bed you’ve made

I been doin’ fine without you
Forgettin’ all the love we once knew
And girl, I ain’t the one that slammed that door
But now you say you’ve changed your thinkin’
But I ain’t got a heart for breakin’
So go and pick your bags up off my floor
‘Cause love don’t live here anymore
No, no
Love don’t live here anymore
Oh no, oh no

Well you don’t live here anymore
Oh you don’t live here anymore
Oh no

Alternative Lyrics 5

(Inspired by “Last Kiss” by Pearl Jam)

“Fallout” by Brian Burwell

Oh, where oh where can my country be?
A douche took her away from me
She’s gone to Hell, so I got to be good
So I go to Heaven when I’m blown up in this world

We had a vote on election night
Something didn’t seem very right
Russia was involved, the evidence said
the polls were rigged, democracy dead
I couldn’t stop the words that were said
Never forget sounds heard from my bed
The burstin’ bombs, the searin’ flesh
The painful screams that I heard last

Oh, where oh where can my country be?
A douche took her away from me
She’s gone to Hell, so I got to be good
So I go to Heaven when I’m blown up in this world

When I woke up, fallout was pourin’ down
There were bodies scattered all around
Something warm running in my eyes,
But somehow I found my country that night
I lifted her flag, I looked at her and said
“Keep me warm for a little while.”
I wrapped her close, remiss and in distress
I found the country I knew I would miss
But now she’s gone, even though I hold her tight
I lost my country, my life that night

Oh, where oh where can my country be?
A douche took her away from me
She’s gone to Hell, so I got to be good
So I go to Heaven when I’m blown up in this world

Download: Archive.org

“Alternative” Lyrics 18

Topic: Melania Trump

“‘Fore She was Mama” by Clay Walker

‘Bout ten years old, hide and seek
I found me in the closet
Ready or not, I stumbled on
And opened up that box of
Yearbooks, letters, black and whites
A hundred, maybe more
Next thing I know my brothers and me
Got ’em scattered on the floor (yeah)

There was one of her, flippin’ the bird
Sittin’ on a Harley
And a few with some hairy hippie dude
Turns out his name was Charlie
Her hair, her clothes, her drinkin’, smokin’
Had us boys confused
I’ll never forget the day us nosy kids got introduced…

To mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
Won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But I saw mama ‘fore she was mama

We put that box right where it was
And never said a word
But growin’ up got hard just tryin’
Not to picture her
In anything but aprons, dresses
Mini-vans and church
Oh, and Daddy would have whooped our butts
For diggin’ up that dirt…

On mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
She won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But I saw mama ‘fore she was mama

We laugh and hang it over her head
Right above her halo
Her face turns red when we bring up
That tie-dyed Winnebago
She runs and hides and still denies
That hip-high rose tattoo
She burned that box of forget-me-nots
When she found out we knew…

About mama ‘fore she was mama
In a string bikini, in Tijuana
Won’t admit she smoked marijuana
But that was mama ‘fore she was mama

And there’s that one down in the Bahamas
But that was mama ‘fore she was mama

“Alternative” Lyrics 15

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump Presidential Campaign Staff; Donald J. Trump Administration Staff (particularly family members on staff)
“Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom” by H. Jon Benjamin and Kristen Schaal from Bob’s Burgers

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum
Can’t let them see me with my pants down
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now
But I’ll be outta here in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away

Let’s be clear
I did absolutely nothing wrong
I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
This is just to say
If Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But he’ll be outta there in no time
No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way

Bad stuff happens in the bathroom/Let’s be clear
I’m just glad that it happens in a vacuum/I did absolutely nothing wrong I’m not to blame, it’s not my fault
Can’t let them see me with my pants down/This is just to say, if
Coasters Magazine is gonna be my chance now/Gene had pooped like every day this would’ve all just blown away
But I’ll be outta here in no time/But he’ll be outta there in no time
I’ll be doing interviews and feeling just fine/No-ones gonna blame me, I’ll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day/Today is gonna be a great day
I’ll do Coasters Magazine and blow everyone away/If Teddy can’t unstick my dad I’ll find another way