“Alternative” Lyrics 171

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Spies; Republicans; Republican Party; Oliver North; NRA; Iran; Qatar; Saudi Arabia; Fox News
“Ollie North” by Seth MacFarlane from American Dad

Stan: In the 80s there was Cold War drama.
We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua.
Our friends were the Contras. Freedom was their mantra.
So we sent them lots of money for guns and landmines.

But Congress stopped the Contra money flow
Just ’cause they moved a teeny bit of blow.
But then a hero came forth.
His name was Oliver North.
He and Reagan went around the sissy Congress.

OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH!

Stan (speaking): You see, North secretly sold missiles to a harmless country called Iran who would always be a grateful ally. Then he gave the profits to the Contras. Genius!

Stan: But the sales were uncovered by the press.

Contras: Awwww.

Press: He he.

Stan: Reagan and North began to stress.

Reagan: Well…

North: Nyaay!

Stan: ‘Cause what they did was technically high treason! (But it was totally justified.)

Stan: North volunteered to take the blame,
to save Reagan from prison rape shame.
The truth he did bury with his hot secretary.
Thanks to her shredder, he got off totally scot-free!

OLLIE NORTH! OLLIE NORTH!

He’s a soldier!
And a hero!
And a novelist!
And now he’s on Fox News!

Roger: Crap, that’s the end.

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