“Alternative” Lyrics 149

Topic: Resistance
“Going to War” by John DiMaggio, Coolio, Mark Hamill, Billy West, and Katey Sagal from Futurama: Bender’s Big Score

Robot Santa: I brought the elves back from vacation,
chained them up and called my holiday friends.
Kwanzaabot: Kwanzaabot.
Chanuka Zombie: And the Chanuka Zombie.
Robot Santa: Three mad wise men
bearing murder and frankincense.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Damn you, doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Shutup.
Now fetch those bunnies by the armful.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Says who? doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Says me.
Napalm makes them slightly more harmful.
No one here goes near that door,
this toyshop’s goin’ to war.
Chanuka Zombie: Talmud says be slow to anger,
low-down scammers got me seeing red.
Got my TIE Fighter out of the hangar.
Jump back Jack,
’cause I’m Jewish and I’m undead.
Robot Santa’s Elves: Ten-hut, doo doo doo doo.
Chanuka Zombie: [simultaneous] Dreidel, dreidel,
I made it out of blasting clay.
Robot Santa’s Elves: You’re nuts, doo doo doo doo.
Chanuka Zombie: [simultaneous] And when it’s dry and ready,
for mercy they will pray,
I can’t wait eight nights or more.
This zombie’s goin’ to war.
[Robot Santa begins beat-boxing]
Kwanzaabot: Ch, Check it out,
Kwanzaabot in the neptizzle hizzle,
with my inhuman beat-box,
busy building missiles.
They’re guided by these cute dancing fairy figures.
Careful little elf, that’s proximity-triggered.
I’m fighting back for Kwanzaa so the children won’t miss it.
I’m confused about its meaning,
but I know it when they diss it.
So Santa?
Santa: Yeah, Kay?
Kwanzaabot: Cee Zee?
Chanuka Zombie: Hey, hey.
Kwanzaabot: Let’s slay them pimps.
Come on, pimp my sleigh.
Chanuka Zombie: Easy with that toy artillery,
Torgo’s Powder’s deadly but unstable.
Robot Santa: [spoken] Can they sue for liability?
Nixon: [spoken] Certainly not!
Robot Santa: Use as much as you are able.
Robot Santa’s Elves: This bites, doo doo doo doo
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] You signed away your rights when you were hired.
Nixon & Leela: Now, let’s fight.
Robot Santa’s Elves: …doo doo doo doo.
Robot Santa: [simultaneous] Okay, chestnuts roasting I’m gonna open fire.
Prepare for gore galore.
Santa, Kwanzaabot & Chanuka Zombie: This trinity’s goin’ to war

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