Month: October 2018

“Alternative” Lyrics 252

Topic: Brett Kavanaugh; Christine Blasey Ford; Deborah Ramirez; Julie Swetnick; Rape Victims; Dom Cozzolino; Assault Victims
“José Cuervo” by Shelly West

Well it’s Sunday Mornin’
And the sun in shinin’
In my eye that is open
And my head is spinnin’

Was the life of the party
I can’t stop grinnin’
I had to much Tequila last night

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start a fight?

Now wait a minute
Things don’t look to familiar
Who is this cowboy
Who’s sleepin’ beside me?
He’s awful cute, but how’d I
Get his shirt on?
I had to much Tequila last night

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start a fight?

All those little shooters
How I love to drink ’em down
Come on bartender
Let’s have another round [Modulates]
Well the music is playing
And my spirits are high
Tomorrow might be painful
But tonight we’re gonna fly

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Every time we get together
I sure have a good time
You’re my friend
You’re the best
Mi amigo
(Tequila)

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start a fight?

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine

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“Alternative” Lyrics 251

Topic: Brett Kavanaugh; Christine Blasey Ford; Deborah Ramirez; Julie Swetnick; Rape Victims
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims
Tertiary Topic: Republicans; Republican Party; Rape Victims
“Sex and Candy” by Marcy Playground

Hangin’ round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was

Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly

I smell sex and candy here
Who’s that lounging in my chair
Who’s that casting devious stares
In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream

Hangin’ round downtown by myself
And I had too much caffeine
And I was thinkin’ ’bout myself
And then there she was

In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade

I smell sex and candy here
Who’s that lounging in my chair
Who’s that casting devious stares
In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream

I smell sex and candy here
Who’s that lounging in my chair
Who’s that casting devious stares
In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this must be my dream

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“Alternative” Lyrics 250

Topic: Brett Kavanaugh; Christine Blasey Ford; Deborah Ramirez; Julie Swetnick; Rape Victims
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims
Tertiary Topic: Republicans; Republican Party; Rape Victims
“Liquid Dreams” by O-Town

Posters of love surrounding me, lost in the world of fantasy
Every night she comes to me and gives me all the love I need.

Now this hot girl, she’s not your average girl
She’s a morpharotic dream from a magazine

And she’s so fine designed to blow your mind
She’s a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen

I dream about a girl who’s a mix of Destiny’s Child
Just a little touch Madonna’s wild style
With Janet Jackson’s smile, throw in a body like Jennifers’
You’ve got the star of my liquid dream

Angelina Jolie’s lips to kiss in the dark
Underneath Cindy C’s beauty mark
When it comes to the test well Tyra’s the best
And Salma Hayek brings the rest

Now this hot girl, she’s not your average girl
She’s a morpharotic dream from a magazine
And she’s so fine designed to blow your mind
She’s a dominatrix supermodel beauty queen

I dream about a girl who’s a mix of Destiny’s Child
Just a little touch Madonna’s wild style
And Janet Jackson’s smile, throw in a body like Jennifer’s
You’ve got the star of my liquid dreams

Looks ain’t everything she’s got the sweetest personality
Like Halle B
My mama thinks I’m lazy, my friend all think I’m crazy
But in my mind, I leave the world behind every night I dream
Oh.

Liquid Dreams, my Liquid Dreams
Waterfall and streams, these liquid dreams

I dream about a girl who’s a mix of Destiny’s Child
Just little touch of Madonna’s wild style
With Janet Jackson’s smile
Throw in a body like Jennifer’s
You’ve got the star of my liquid dreams
My liquid dreams
My liquid dreams
My liquid dreams

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“Alternative” Lyrics 249

Topic: Brett Kavanaugh
Auxiliary Topic: Lindsay Graham
“Men in Tights” by Hummie Mann and the Merry Men Singers from Robin Hood: Men in Tights

We’re men… We’re men in tights
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We’re men… We’re men in tights.
We rob from the rich and give to the poor, that’s right.

We may look like sissys,
But watch what you say or else we’ll put out your lights.

We’re men… We’re men in tights
Always on guard defending the peoples rights.

La la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la…
Lalalalalalala (repeat).

We’re men.. Manly men
We’re men in tights, yes (with lisp)
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We’re men, we’re men in tights
We rob from the rich and give to the poor that’s right.

We may look like pansies,
But don’t get us wrong or else we’ll put out your lights.

We’re men… We’re men in tights (tight tights)
Always on guard defending the peoples rights
When your in a fix just call for the men in tights.

We’re butch.

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“Alternative” Lyrics 248

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Resistance
“Cows with Guns” by Dana Lyons

Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren’t much fun
Cows aren’t fun

They eat to grow, grow to die

Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow dol drums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we’ll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said “enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough”
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows outgunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns

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