“Alternative” Lyrics 181

Topic: Woodrow Wilson; Jimmy Carter; Stormy Daniels/Stephanie Gregory Clifford; Barack Obama
Auxiliary Topic: Environment; Mass Shootings; Porn Stars; Resistance
“Three Wooden Crosses” by Randy Travis

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher,
Ridin’ on a midnight bus bound for Mexico
One’s headed for vacation, one for higher education,
An’ two of them were searchin’ for lost souls

That driver never ever saw the stop sign
An’ eighteen wheelers can’t stop on a dime

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres,
The faith an’ love for growin’ things in his young son’s heart
An’ that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children:
Did her best to give ’em all a better start
An’ that preacher whispered, “Can’t you see the Promised Land?”
As he laid his blood-stained bible in that hooker’s hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, Heaven only knows
I guess it’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

That’s the story that our preacher told last Sunday
As he held that blood-stained bible up,
For all of us to see
He said “Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an’ the preacher
Who gave this Bible to my mama,
Who read it to me”

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,
Why there’s not four of them, now I guess we know
It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It’s what you leave behind you when you go

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

“Alternative” Lyrics 180

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Sports Go Sports” by Garfunkel & Oates

Sports go sports!

I promise I really totally care who wins
If there’s a net or hoop or hole in the ground, I hope they get it in
If they want to go to all the bases, I hope they do
If they’re supposed to run past a line or whatever, I hope they do that, too

Sports go sports!

May they top their opponents numerically in the allotted time
Lest they disenfranchise their audience
And see their revenues decline

May the partakers be sturdy and rapid
In the spirited energies they exert
May they be victorious in perpetuity
Don’t I look cute in this football shirt?

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

This is the most important thing that’s ever occurred
The vicarious fulfillment of your dream that got deferred
You had aspirations as a kid, but you didn’t have the skill
So you watch genetically superior people do the things you never will

Sports go sports!

May the competitors you prefer
Best their opposing equivalents
So you can somehow feel connected to the feat
Of your self-appointed constituents
May the hours you spend watching post-match pontificators
Amplify the thrill of being a witness
And better your predictive aptitude
For your squad’s future physical fitness

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

Watching able-bodied millionaires play with each other
Watching less agile millionaire talk about it on TV
May they compile copious points
So they are rewarded and meritorious
So you feel temporarily, adjacently victorious

Sports go sports!
Athletics are number one!
Participants are heroes!
Go team yeah!

Every other word!

Sports!
Sports!
Are, one!
Are!
Go! Yeah!

Every other, other word!

Go!
Athletics, number!
Participants, heroes!
Team!

Now in Latin!

Ludis ire ludis
Arcu sunt optimum
Participants sunt heroes
Ire quadrigus sic

Now the truth!

If you could only throw a ball
You’d have a hotter wife
Lots and lots of money
And a way better life
And a way better life
Go sports!

“Alternative” Lyrics 179

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers; Russia; Saudi Arabia; United Arab Emirates; Israel
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims
“Take It Down Low” by Hynden Walch from Teen Titans Go!

Starfire:

Baby, take me to the bottom where the frequency low,

Make me feel the bass drum from that

Together:

808… YO!

Starfire:

Drop me with that beat,

(Yeah)

Rock it phat, indeed,

(Yeah)

Pull me down onto the floor.

Take it down low

(Echo: low, low )

The Fish:

We got the same big heart,

It pumpin’, beatin’ hard,

Don’t even have to know ya,

We from the same, yeah

Starfire:

I like it on the down low

(Yeah)

Nothing to talk about.

The Fish:

So turn that mouth off, baby,

And bust the beats out.

Starfire:

I like the radio blastin’,

Feeling fantastic,

I’d dance all night if I could.

Make that sub-sonic boom,

And shake every room in every joint in the hood.

And let that bottom beat thump

That booty be bumpin’

Like you were dreaming it would.

Everybody watching me movin’

Haters keep on droolin’

Yeah, they all be provin’ they just wish they could

Take it down low!

“Alternative” Lyrics 178

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop” from The Producers

You will join me in singing
Und dancing the Führer’s favorite tune
‘Der Guten Tag Hop Clop’, all right, key of E?
Is there any other? Wunderbar, eins, zwei, drei

Guten Tag hop hop, Guten Tag clop clop
Auch du lieber und oh boy
Guten Tag clap clap, Guten Tag slap slap
Auch du lieber, vat a joy

Oh, wie essen und fressen
Und tanze und trinken
Tanzen und trinken
Until wie get stinkin’

Everybody, Guten Tag hop hop, Guten Tag clop clop
Guten Tag, meine liebe Schatz
So we hop our hops und we clop our clops
Und we drink our Schnapps ’til we plotz

Wunderbar, gentlemen, I like your dancing
Thank you, you may produce my play
Excellent, but only if you will take the Siegfried Oath
I solemnly swear, I solemnly swear

To obey the sacred Siegfried Oath
To obey the sacred Siegfried Oath
Und, und, und, never, never, never, never, never, never
Dishonor ze spirit und ze memory of Adolf Elizabeth Hitler

Dishonor the spirit, Elizabeth?
Ja, that vas his middle name
Not many people know it, but the Führer was descended
From a long line of English queens

Really? Adolf Elizabeth Hitler
Gut, so now I sign your contract
Ah, you won’t regret this, so, thank you, Herr Liebkind
Broadvay, wait ’til they hear about this in Argentina
Auch, mein lieblings

Ve’re winkin und blinkin
Und clinken und drinken
Our Schnapps ’til we plotz
Heil, you know who

“Alternative” Lyrics 177

Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Jumper” by Third Eye Blind

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you’ve been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand.
I would understand.

The angry boy,
A bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don’t belong.

You’re the first to fight,
You’re way too loud,
You’re The flash of light,
On a burial shroud,
I know something’s wrong

Well everyone I know has got a reason,
To say,
Put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you’ve been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand.

And well he’s on the table,
And he’s gone to code,
And I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,

And your friends have left you,
You’ve been dismissed.
I never thought it would come to this,
And I, I want you to know

Everyone’s got to face down the demons,
Maybe today,
We can put the past away,

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.
You could cut ties with all the lies,
That you’ve been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again,
I would understand,
I would understand,
I would understand…

(I would understand)
(I would understand)
(Understand)

Ya ya ya ya ya…

Can you put the past away?

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
I would understand

(I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,)
I would understand
(I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,)
And I would understand
(X2)

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