“Alternative” Lyrics 197

Topic: Vladimir Putin; Russia; Donald J. Trump; Fake News; Facebook; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Mainstream Media; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Robert Mueller; Resistance; Democrats; Fair Elections; Democracy; Justice
“This is the House That Jack Built” by Various

This is the house that Jack built.

This is the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cat that chased the rat
That ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cock that crowed in the morn
That woke the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That woke the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the horse and the hound and the horn
That belonged to the farmer sowing his corn
That kept the cock that crowed in the morn
That woke the priest all shaven and shorn
That married the man all tattered and torn
That kissed the maiden all forlorn
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn
That tossed the dog that worried the cat
That chased the rat that ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

“Alternative” Lyrics 196

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Eric Trump; Donald Trump Jr.; Twitter; Fox News; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Vladimir Putin
“Where Everybody Knows Your Name” by Gary Portnoy from Cheers

Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away?

All those nights when you’ve got no lights
The check is in the mail
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by its tail
And your third fiance didn’t show

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee’s dead
The morning’s looking bright
And your shrink ran off to Europe
And didn’t even write
And your husband wants to be a girl

Be glad there’s one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to go where people know
People are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name

Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
Where everybody knows your name

“Alternative” Lyrics 186

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims; Vladimir Putin
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers; Israel; Qatar; Republican Party; Republicans; Russia; Saudi Arabia; Trump Family
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; North Korea
“Marry You” by Bruno Mars

It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard
We can go
No one will know
Oh c’mon girl

Who cares if we’re trashed
Got a pocket full of cash we can blow
Shots of Patron
And it’s on girl

Don’t say no no no no no
Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
And we’ll go go go go go
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

‘Cause it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

Oh
I’ll go get a ring
Let the choir bell sing like ooh
So what you wanna do
Lets just run girl
If we wake up and you want to break up
That’s cool
No I won’t blame you
It was fun girl

Don’t say no no no no no
Just say yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
And we’ll go go go go go
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

‘Cause it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

Just say I do
Tell me right now baby
Tell me right now baby, baby
Just say I do
Tell me right now baby
Tell me right now baby, baby

Oh
It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you

“Alternative” Lyrics 185

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Donald J. Trump’s Lawyers; Trump Family; Russia; Saudi Arabia; Israel; Qatar; Republicans; Republican Party; Vladimir Putin
“Teddy Bears’ Picnic” by Various

If you go down in the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today
You’d better go in disguise!

For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain
Because today’s the day the
Teddy Bears have their picnic

Picnic time for Teddy Bears
The little Teddy Bears are having
A lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o’clock their Mommies and Daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they’re tired little Teddy Bears

Every Teddy Bear who’s been good
Is sure of a treat today
There’s lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They’ll hide and seek as long as they please
‘Cause that’s the way the
Teddy Bears have their picnic

Picnic time for Teddy Bears
The little Teddy Bears are having
A lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o’clock their Mommies and Daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they’re tired little Teddy Bears
Because they’re tired little Teddy Bears

“Alternative” Lyrics 183

Topic: Russia; Vladimir Putin; Kellyanne Conway; Erik Trump; Donald Trump Jr.; Devin Nunez; Jeff Sessions; Sarah Huckabee Sanders; Donald J. Trump
“Winnie the Pooh” by Disney Orchestra

Deep in the hundred acre wood
Where Christopher Robin plays
You will find the enchanted neighborhood
Of Christopher’s childhood days
A donkey named Eeyore is his friend
And Kanga and little Roo
There’s Rabbit and Piglet
And there’s Owl
But most of all Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
He’s Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Willy nilly silly old bear

Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
He’s Winnie the Pooh
Winnie the Pooh
Willy nilly silly old bear

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