Try the Tasty Punch!
Topic: Republicans;. Republican Party; Immigrants; Tired; Poor; Huddled Masses; Wretched; Homeless; Tempest-Tost
“Here is the Church” by Various
Here is the church
And here is the steeple
Open the doors and see all the people
Close the doors and listen to them pray
Open the doors and the all walk away
Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Trump Family; United States of America
Auxiliary Topic: United States of America
“Alyssa Lies” by Jason Michael Carroll
My little girl met a new friend
Just the other day
On the playground at school
Between the tires and the swings
But she came home with tear-filled eyes
And she said to me, “Daddy, Alyssa lies.”
Well I just brushed it off at first
‘Cause I didn’t know how much my little girl had been hurt
Or the things she had seen
I wasn’t ready when I said, “You can tell me.”
And she said
Alyssa lies to the classroom
Alyssa lies everyday at school
Alyssa lies to the teachers
As she tries to cover every bruise
My little girl laid her head down that night to go to sleep
As I stepped out the room, I heard her say a prayer so soft and sweet
“God bless my mom and my dad
And my new friend, Alyssa
I know she needs you bad.”
Because Alyssa lies to the classroom
Alyssa lies everyday at school
Alyssa lies to the teachers
As she tries to cover every bruise
I had the worst night of sleep in years
As I tried to think of a way to calm her fears
I knew just what it was I had to do
But when we got to school on Monday, I heard the news
My little girl asked me why everybody looked so sad
The lump in my throat grew bigger
With every question that she asked
Until I felt the tears run down my face
And I told her that Alyssa wouldn’t be at school today
‘Cause she doesn’t lie in the classroom
She doesn’t lie anymore at school
Alyssa lies with Jesus
Because there’s nothin’ anyone would do
Tears filled my eyes when my little girl asked me why
Alyssa lies
Daddy, tell me why
Alyssa lies
Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Base; Republicans; Republican Party
“Kryptonite” by 3 Doors Down
Well, I took a walk around the world
To ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere
In the sands of time
But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there a-holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times
I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you’d be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there a-holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there a-holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite
Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Vladimir Putin; Russia
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars; Rape Victims
“Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)” by Blessid Union of Soul
She don’t care about my car
She don’t care about my money
And that’s real good because I don’t got alot to spend
But if I did it wouldn’t mean nothin’
She likes me for me
Not because I look like Tyson Beckford
With the charm of Robert Redford
Oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecisions
My insecure conditions
And the tears upon the pillow that I shed
She don’t care about my big screen
Or my collection of DVD’s
Things like that just never mattered much to her
Plus she don’t watch to much t.v.
And she don’t care that I can fly her
To places she ain’t never been
But if she really wants to go
I think deep down she knows that
All she has to say is when
She likes me for me
Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in “Fargo”
I think his name is Steve
She’s the one for me
And I just can’t live without her
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I found her once again
And I’m so glad I found her once again
And I’m so glad I found her once again
Gazing at the ceiling
as we entertain our feelings in the dark
The things that we’re afraid of are gonna show us
what we’re made of in the end
She likes me for me
Not because I sing like Pavarotti
Or because I am such a hottie
I like her for her
Not because she’s phat like Cindy Crawford
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don’t see
She likes me for me
Not because I’m tough like Dirty Hairy
Make her laugh just like Jim Carrey
Unlike the Cable Guy
But what she sees
Is that I can’t live without her
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I found her once again
Found her once again
I’m so glad I found her once again
On again
Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Trump Family; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration
“Master of the House” from Les Misérables
My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores (no, no, no, no not tonight) spend their lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors,
And they crawl out on all fours
Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of ’em crooks:
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who’s content to be
Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn’t cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve ’em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin’ up their knick-knacks when they can’t see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody’s bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed ’em in the end!
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never was a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody’s boon companion
Everybody’s chaperone
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won’t I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it’s beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
(Oh Santa!)
Charge ’em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks I knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It’s amazing how it grows!
(Oh, sorry love
Must get something done about that)
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what’s happened since?
Master of the house? Isn’t worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he’s quite a lover but there’s not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I’ve lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the house!
Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher
Don’t make me laugh!
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up the master’s arse
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!
Dark Side of Brian 