“Alternative” Lyrics 427

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Trump Family
“All I Really Want for Christmas” by Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, Brian, Quagmire, Bonnie, Joe, Mort, Mayor Adam West, Herbert, Angela, Consuela, Bruce, Jillian, Tom Tucker, Tomik, Bellgarde, Carl, Mort Goldman, Tricia Takanawa and other Quahog Residents from Family Guy

Peter: Jessica Biel and Megan Fox Wearin’ nothin’ but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Brian: Well, that’s just not practical.

Lois: Spending a week in Mexico
With some black guys and some blow
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Peter: Aw, that sounds terrific.
How about you, kids?

Chris: I would like a pair of skates,
Then I’d go out skating,
But I really don’t know how to skate.
Ha-ha!

Meg: I want a Lexus all in pink
And a dad who doesn’t drink.

Peter: Oh, and that reminds me, twelve kegs of beer.

The Griffins (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian: Santa’s got his work cut out for him.

Peter: Oh, we ain’t even gotten started yet.

Lois: I wanna tour the Spanish coast…

Peter: Lunch with Michael Landon’s ghost…

Peter and Lois: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Lois: Wait, what?

Peter: Forget it. Keep goin’.

Chris: Jennifer Garner in my bed…

Meg: Softer voices in my head…

Chris and Meg: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Stewie: Yellow cake uranium.
Never mind the reason.
Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball.
[laughs]

Brian: Doesn’t this seem like too much stuff?

Peter: Poo on you!
It’s not enough!

Stewie: Buddy boy, I got your Christmas right here.
[grabs his crotch]

The Griffins: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian: I’m just saying it seems a bit excessive.

Lois: Oh, get off your soapbox, Brian, it’s Christmas.

Peter: And Christmas is about gettin’. Everyone in town knows that.

Quagmire: Japanese girls with no restraint
Just to choke me till I faint
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Ooh, giggity!

Bonnie: Platinum-plated silverware…

Joe: Just one day when kids don’t stare…

Bonnie and Joe: Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Mort: If you put a Christmas tree
In the public airport,
I will go to court and sue your ass!
Happy holiday!

Mayor Adam West: Wouldn’t I love a Tinkertoy?

Herbert: And a little drummer boy.
He can either tap his drum or my rear.

Mayor Adam West, Herbert and Mort: All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Tom Tucker: I want a golden mustache comb.

Angela: And some spermicidal foam.

Tom Tucker and Angela: That’s all I really want for Christmas this year.

Carter: I want a brand new pitching wedge.

Consuela: I would like more Lemon Pledge.

Carter and Consuela: That’s all I really want for Christmas this year.

Bruce: I just want a wedding ring
From someone named Jeffrey.

Jillian: I just want some colored Easter eggs.

Carl: I want a Blu-ray of The Wiz.

Tomik: We don’t know what “Christmas” is.

Bellgarde: We have something else called “Kishgev Fufleer”.

Everyone (except Brian): All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

“Alternative” Lyrics 426

Topic: Resistance; Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Republican Party; Donald J. Trump’s Base
“Power of the Horde” by Level 80 Elite Tauren Chieftain from Warcraft III: the Frozen Throne

Storm, Earth and Fire, heed my call!

I am the son of the wind and rain,
Thunder beckons and I heed the call.
If I die upon this day,
In battle I will fall.

Hear me brothers gather up the wolves, <howl>
To battle, we will ride.
War drums echo the beating heart,
Pounding from inside.

Chorus:
STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder we’ll bring forth…
DEATH
From the power of the Horde…

Far Seer to the Warsong Clan,
To no man will I kneel.
Feel the power and the energy,
Born of black blood, honor, and steel.

I feel the fire burning in my veins,
Lightning strikes at my command.
By storm and earth, axe and fire,
We come to claim this land.

Chorus

-guitar solo-

Yeeeeaaaahhhh!

Surrounded by the enemy,
The wolf among the hounds.
Thunder turns to silence it,
Took the hundred to bring me down.

Wolf brothers falling at my side,
With honor I will die.
Upon the Altar of the Storms,
I will be reborn.

STORM
Black clouds fill the sky.
EARTH
I hear my battle cry.
FIRE
Thunder we’ll bring forth…
DEATH
For I have been reborn.

STORM
EARTH
FIRE
DEATH <death sound>
The power of the Horde…

https://youtu.be/aUBrjGrzBm0

“Alternative” Lyrics 425

Topic: Donald J. Trump
“A Cover is Not the Book” by Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda and Company from Mary Poppins Returns

Uncle Gutenberg was a bookworm
And he lived on Charing Cross
The memory of his volumes brings a smile
He would read me lots of stories
When he wasn’t on the sauce
Now I’d like to share the wisdom
Of my favourite bibliophile

He said a

Cover is not the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That the king may be a crook
Chapter titles are like signs
And if you read between the lines
You’ll find your first impression was mistook
For a cover is nice
But a cover is not the book

Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!

Mary Poppins, could you give us an example?

Certainly!

Nellie Rubina was made of wood
But what could not be seen was though
Her trunk up top was barren
Well, her roots were lush and green
So in Spring when Mr Hickory saw her blossoms blooming there
He took root despite her bark
And now there’s seedlings everywhere

Which proves

A cover is not the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That the king may be a crook
Chapter titles are like signs
And if you read between the lines
You’ll find your first impression was mistook
For a cover is nice
But a cover is not the book

Should we do the one about the wealthy widow?

Oh, by all means!

Always loved that one

Well, go on then!

Lady Hyacinth Macaw
Brought all her treasures to a reef

Where she only wore a smile

Plus two feathers, and a leaf

So no one tried to rob her
‘Cause she barely wore a stitch

For when you’re in your birthday suit

There ain’t much there to show you’re rich!

Oh, a cover is not the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That the king maybe a crook
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la, ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta!

You’ll find your first impression was mistook (Ya-da-da-da)
For a cover is nice
But a cover is not the book

Oh, give us the one about the dirty rascal, why don’t ya?

Isn’t that one a bit long?

Well, the quicker you’re into it, the quicker you’re out of it

Once upon a time
In a nursery rhyme
There was a castle with a king
Hiding in a wing
‘Cause he never went to school to learn a single thing

He had scepters and swords
And a parliament of lords
But on the inside he was sad
Egad!
Because he never had a wisdom for numbers
A wisdom for words
Though his crown was quite immense
His brain was smaller than a bird’s
So the queen of the nation
Made a royal proclamation:
“To the Missus and the Messers
The more or lessers
Bring me all the land’s professors”
Then she went to the hair dressers

And they came from the east
And they came from the south
From each college they poured knowledge
From their brains into his mouth
But the king couldn’t learn
So each professor met their fate
For the queen had their heads removed
And placed upon the gate
And on that date
I state their wives all got a note
Their mate was now the late-great

But then suddenly one day
A stranger started in to sing
He said, “I’m the dirty rascal
And I’m here to teach the king”
And the queen clutched her jewels
For she hated royal fools
But this fool had some rules
They really ought to teach in schools

Like you’ll be a happy king
If you enjoy the things you’ve got
You should never try to be
The kind of person that you’re not
So they sang and they laughed
For the king had found a friend
And they ran onto a rainbow for
The story’s perfect end

So the moral is you musn’t let
The outside be the guide
For it’s not so cut and dried
Well unless it’s Dr. Jekyll
Then you better hide, petrified!
No, the truth can’t be denied
As I now have testified
All that really counts and matters
Is the special stuff inside

He did it!

Oh, a cover is not the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That the king may be a crook

So please listen to what we’ve said

And open a book tonight in bed

So one more time before we get the hook

Sing it out strong!

A cover is nice

Please take our advice!

A cover is nice

Or you’ll pay the price!

A cover is nice

But a cover is not the book

Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la, la, la!

https://youtu.be/GNvV6N7veRs

“Alternative” Lyrics 424

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary: Republicans; Republican Party
“Desperado” by Eagles

Desperado
Why don’t you come to your senses
You’ve been out ridin’ fences for so long now
Oh, you’re a hard one
I know that you’ve got your reasons
These things that are pleasin’ you
Can hurt you somehow

Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones
That you can’t get

Desperado
Oh, you ain’t getting no younger
Your pain and your hunger
They’re driving you home
And freedom, oh, freedom
Well that’s just some people talking
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day
And you’re losing all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes
Away

Desperado
Why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
(let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you
Before it’s too late

https://youtu.be/brhf7IdHZ10

“Alternative” Lyrics 423

Topic: Donald J. Trump
Auxiliary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Campaign Team; Donald J. Trump’s Transition Team; Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Former Members of Donald J. Trump’s Administration; Republicans; Republican Party
Tertiary Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald J. Trump’s Wives; Mistresses; Porn Stars
“Celebrity Skin” by Hole

Oh, make me over
I’m all I want to be
A walking study
In demonology

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, so glad you could make it now

Oh, look at my face
My name is might have been
My name is never was
My name’s forgotten

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, there’s only us left now

When I wake up in my makeup
It’s too early for that dress
Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood
I’m glad I came here
With your pound of flesh
No second billing cause you’re a star now
Oh, Cinderella
They aren’t sluts like you
Beautiful garbage
Beautiful dresses
Can you stand up
Or will you just fall down

You better watch out
Or what you wish for
It better be worth it
So much to die for

Hey, so glad you could make it
Yeah, now you really made it
Hey, there’s only us left now

When I wake up in my makeup
Have you ever felt so used up as this?
It’s all so sugarless
Hooker, waitress, model, actress
Oh, just go nameless
Honeysuckle
She’s full of poison
She obliterated everything she kissed
Now she’s fading
Somewhere in Hollywood
I’m glad I came here
With your pound of flesh

You want a part of me
Well, I’m not selling cheap
No, I’m not selling cheap

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