Month: October 2017

“Alternative” Lyrics 41

Topic: Donald J. Trump
“Shitty Golfer” by Toby Keith

I’m a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
And new TaylorMade driver didn’t make me any better

Man, I hit ’em fat and I hit ’em thin
I roll ’em in the bunker’s man, I hit ’em again
Slice ’em in the bushes, crank ’em in a creek
I popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the street

Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five

Hey, I’m a shitty golfer, most of us are
But we carry our clubs in the back of our carts
What else you gonna do when you’re out of town
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round

Man, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88
I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age

Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five, oh yeah
You can put me down for a five

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“Alternative” Lyrics 40

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Scott Pruitt; Ryan Zinke; Republicans
“Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell

Late last night, I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi took away my old man
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone

Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

Paved paradise, put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique and a swinging hot spot
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

Took all the trees, put them in a tree museum
And they charged the people
A dollar and a half just to seem ’em
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi

Hey farmer, farmer, put away that DDT now
Give me spots on my apples
But leave me the birds and the bees
Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
Paved paradise, put up a parking lot

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

The big yellow taxi
The big yellow taxi

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“Alternative” Lyrics 39

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Donald Trump Jr.; Ivanka Trump; Eric Trump; Trump Family; Cyrus Vance Jr.; Pam Bondi; Lord (not referring to Him); Vladimir Putin
“Daddy Did His Best” by Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner

I remember when my daddy worked all day for just a dollar
And he never saved a penny, but at least the bills were paid
I’ve never seen a man work half as hard
And come home half as tired
Then give the Lord a tenth of all he made

Daddy said I’m making payments on a mansion
And so many times, he’s told me this old world is not his home
And he told me he’d been promised he’d receive a fair reward
Daddy did the best he could then left the rest up to the Lord

Now I’ve never seen a man that had more reason for complaining
But he’d smiled at me explaining how he never walked alone
When they called me to his death bed
I remember how my daddy just looked up
And smiled and said I’m going home

Daddy said I’m making payments on a mansion
And so many times, he’s told me this old world is not his home
And he told me he’d been promised he’d receive a fair reward
Daddy did the best he could then left the rest up to the Lord

Since my daddy left this world for one much better
I’ve been watching people worrying more
Working for the things they can’t afford
In a world that’s filled with problems
No one’s ever found the answers
To the things my daddy left up to the Lord

Daddy said I’m making payments on a mansion
And so many times, he’s told me this old world is not his home
And he told me he’d been promised he’d receive a fair reward
Daddy did the best he could then left the rest up to the Lord

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“Alternative” Lyrics 38

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans; Government; Health Care (and just about every other law protecting citizens)
“There’s a Hole in the Bucket” by Various

There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.

But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long.

So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it!

With what should I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an axe, dear Henry, an axe.

But the axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The axe is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.

So, sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So sharpen it dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it!

With what should I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I sharpen, dear Liza, with what?

Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, the stone.

But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

So wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
So wet it dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what should I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, water.

With what should I carry it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I carry it dear Liza, with what?

Use the bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Use the bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, the bucket!

There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

https://youtu.be/UuLDCcRBaPo

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“Alternative” Lyrics 37

Topic: Donald J. Trump; Republicans
“Boom, Boom, Ain’t It Great To Be Crazy” by Various

A horse and a flea and three blind mice
Sat on a curbstone shooting dice,
The horse he slipped and fell on the flea,
“Whoops,” said the flea, “there’s a horse on me!”

Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Giddy and foolish the whole day through,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy?

Way down South where bananas grow,
A flea stepped on an elephant’s toe,
The elephant cried with tears in his eyes,
“Why don’t you pick on someone your size?”

Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Giddy and foolish the whole day through,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy?

Way up North where there’s ice and snow
There lived a penguin and his name was Joe,
He got so tired of black and white,
He wore pink slacks to the dance last night.

Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy,
Giddy and foolish the whole day through,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy?

Giddy and foolish the whole day through,
Boom, boom, ain’t it great to be crazy?

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